Taser Jokes

Not too long ago, I saw something at the gun and pawn shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 10th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife.
What I came across was a 100, 000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long term
adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.
Needless to say, this was way too cool. Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the thing and pushed the button. Nothing!
I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get a blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to my wife what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be more...

Stun gun maker Taser will market a smaller, sleeker version for "safety and fashion conscious members of the public."
The new Taser, tentatively referred to as the Cock Blocker 2000, is expected to cut liquor sales at singles bars by over 50 percent and increase submissions to America's Funniest Videos by over 297 percent.

A new taser stun gun has been invented that can stun 3 people at once. It was developed to stop the Jonas Brothers.

An unruly guy in Houston,Texas begged a cop not to Taser him.He kept yelling that he had a plate in his head and couldn't be Tasered.The man panicked and lunged for the cop's Taser,at which point,he was shot dead.So pick your poison Tex.