Swedish Jokes / Recent Jokes

A swede was in a nightclub in New York, dancing with a beautiful woman. He whispered into her ear, "I love you." She smiled and whispered back, "I love you too!" There was a little pause, the swede was thinking, then he whispered, "I love you three."

Q: Why do the swedes brush their teeth? A: Because they don`t want the food to get dirty.

Q: What do you get if you cross a swede and a gypsy? A: A car thief who can`t drive.

A swede called the airline and asked how long it would take for a plane to get from Stockholm to Paris. "Just a moment," the clerk said. "Oh, thank you," the swede replied and hung up.

Q: Why do the swedes cut holes in their umbrellas? A: Because they want to see when the rain ends.

There was this swedish teacher who was yelling at his class because they were so incredibly lazy, "I wouldn`t be surprised if 50% of you flunk this math class," he said. One of the kids put up his hand. "But there aren`t that many in this class," he said.

Q: How can you tell if there are swedes on an oil rig? A: They are throwing bread up in the air, trying to feed the choppers.