Surveys Jokes

According to the latest surveys, when making love, most married men fantasize that their wives aren't fantasizing.

Saint Peter is doing his thing, minding the Gates of Heaven, when he notices that the Gates are getting a bit shabby and shopworn and in need of repair. He goes outside to the line of people waiting to come "in" and asks "ARE THERE ANY CONTRACTORS HERE?" Three guys step foreward......... A Black Man, an Italian, and a Jew. Peter asks the three to inspect the Gates and then give a price, with a breakdown. First, the Black guy goes over and looks at the Gates. "I think $900. 00 should do it" he says. "That would be $300. for materials, $300. for labor, and $300 for me" "Great ", says PeterNext the Italian guy inspects the Gates. He takes a long time, pouring over every bit of what he surveys, then comes back to St. Peter and tells him that "These are the most wonderful, beautiful Gates!! They were almost certainly constructed in Italy, probably Florence, in the Renaissance! Pure Works of Art!" The price...$3, 000. I'll need more...

A new government 10 year survey cost $3, 000, 000, 000 revealed that 3/4 of the people in America make up 75% of the population. According to recent surveys, 51% of the people are in the majority. Did you know that 87. 166253% of all statistics claim a precision of results that is not justified by the method employed? 80% of all statistics quoted to prove a point are made up on the spot. According to a recent survey, 33 of the people say they participate in surveys. Q: What do you call a statistician on drugs? A: A high flyer. Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: 1-3, alpha =. 05There is no truth to the allegation that statisticians are mean. They are just your standard normal deviates. Q: Did you hear about the statistician who invented a device to measure the weight of trees? A: It's referred to as the log scale. Q: Did you hear about the statistician who took the Dale Carnegie course? A: He improved his confidence from. 95 to. 99. Q: Why don't more...

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Saint Peter is doing his thing, minding the Gates of Heaven, when he notices that the Gates are getting a bit shabby and shopworn and in need of repair.
He goes outside to the line of people waiting to come "in" and asks "ARE THERE ANY CONTRACTORS HERE?"
Three guys step foreward... A Black Man, an Italian, and a Jew.
Peter asks the three to inspect the Gates and then give a price, with a breakdown.
First, the Black guy goes over and looks at the Gates. "I think $
900.00 should do it" he says. "That would be $
300. for materials, $
300. for labor, and $300 for me" "Great ", says Peter
Next the Italian guy inspects the Gates. He takes a long time, pouring over every bit of what he surveys, then comes back to St. Peter and tells him that "These are the most wonderful, beautiful Gates! They were almost certainly constructed in Italy, probably Florence, in the Renaissance! Pure Works of Art!" The more...