Suitcases Jokes / Recent Jokes
An American Who Finds Himself In Moscow Wants To Know The Time. He Sees A Man Approaching Him Carrying Two Heavy Suitcases And Asks The Fellow If He Knows The Correct Time.
"Certainly," Says The Russian, Setting Down The Two Bags And Looking At His Wrist. "It Is 11: 43 And 17 Seconds. The Date Is Feb. 13, The Moon Is Nearing Its Full Phase And The Atmospheric Pressure Stands At 992 Hectopascals And Is Rising."
The Visitor Is Dumbfounded But Manages To Ask If The Watch That Provides All This Information Is Japanese. No, He Is Told, It Is "Our Own, A Product Of Soviet Technology."
"Well, That Is Wonderful, You Are To Be Congratulated."
"Yes," The Russian Answers, Straining To Pick Up The Suitcases, "But These Batteries Are Still A Little Heavy."
Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?"
Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says.
"Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger. Jake brightens a little.
"Yeah, it's not bad. Check this out" - and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 86 largest metropolises.
He hits a few buttons and from somewhere on the watch a voice says "The time is eleven 'til six" in a very West Texas accent. A few more buttons and the same voice says something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've put in regional accents for each city". The display is unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding.
The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. "That's not all", says Jake. He pushes a few more...
Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?"Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says."Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger. Jake brightens a little."Yeah, it's not bad. Check this out" - and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 86 largest metropolises.He hits a few buttons and from somewhere on the watch a voice says "The time is eleven 'til six" in a very West Texas accent. A few more buttons and the same voice says something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've put in regional accents for each city". The display is unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding.The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. "That's not all", says Jake. He pushes a few more buttons and a tiny but more...
Jake is struggling through a bus station with two huge and obviously heavy suitcases when a stranger walks up to him and asks "Have you got the time?" Jake sighs, puts down the suitcases and glances at his wrist. "It's a quarter to six," he says.
"Hey, that's a pretty fancy watch!" exclaims the stranger.
Jake brightens a little. "Yeah, it's not bad. Check this out" - and he shows him a time zone display not just for every time zone in the world, but for the 86 largest metropoli. He hits a few buttons and from somewhere on the watch a voice says "The time is eleven' til six" in a very West Texas accent. A few more buttons and the same voice says something in Japanese. Jake continues "I've put in regional accents for each city". The display is unbelievably high quality and the voice is simply astounding.
The stranger is struck dumb with admiration. "That's not all," says Jake. He more...