Stomach Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge.
The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
The hands said "Without me we wouldn't be able to pick anything up or move anything. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
The stomach said "I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
The legs said "Without me we wouldn't be able to move anywhere. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
Then the rectum said "I think I should be in charge."
All the rest of the parts said "YOU?!? You don't do anything! You're not important! You can't be in charge."
So more...

One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge.The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."The hands said "Without me we wouldn't be able to pick anything up or move anything. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."The stomach said "I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."The legs said "Without me we wouldn't be able to move anywhere. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."Then the rectum said "I think I should be in charge."All the rest of the parts said "YOU?!? You don't do anything! You're not important! You can't be in charge."So the rectum closed up.After a few days, the more...

One day the different parts of the body were having anargument to see which should be in charge.The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the mostimportant and I should be in charge."The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of youknow where we are, so I'm the most important and Ishould be in charge."The hands said "Without me we wouldn't be able to pickanything up or move anything. So I'm the most importantand I should be in charge."The stomach said "I turn the food we eat into energy forthe rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the mostimportant and I should be in charge."The legs said "Without me we wouldn't be able to moveanywhere. So I'm the most important and I should be incharge."Then the rectum said "I think I should be in charge."All the rest of the parts said "YOU?!? You don't doanything! You're not important! You can't be in charge."So the rectum closed up. After a few days, the legs were more...

A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his local doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies that the illness is quite serious but can be cured with a small course of two
suppositories inserted deep up the back passage. The man agrees, and so the doctor warns him of the pain, tells him to bend over, and shoves the thing way up his behind. The doctor then hands him the second dose and tells him to do the same thing in six hours time using rubber gloves and KY-Jelly or something.
So, the man goes home and later that evening tries to get the second suppository inserted, but he finds he cannot reach himself properly to obtain the required depth. Thus, he calls
his wife over and tells her what to do. The wife nods, puts one hand on his shoulder to steady him and with the other shoves the medicine home.
Suddenly the man screams in disgust.
"What's the matter?" asked his wife. "Did I hurt you?"
"No," replies the man, more...

Tell me something," asked Freddie, "how many cookies can you eat on an empty stomach, Little Johnny?"
Little Johnny scratched his lizard pecker head and said, "Well, five, I think."
"Wrong," said Jon. "You can only eat just one. After that, your stomach isn't empty any more! Gotcha!"
Little Johnny was impressed so he decided to pull the joke on his sister, Judi, when he got home.
"Hey, Sis, how many cookies can you eat on an empty stomach?"
Judi thought for a minute or two (it takes awhile to get those two brain cells to fire together) and said, "Two."
Little Johnny was dejected. "Aw, if you'd said *five* I had a great joke for you!"

A man with a bad stomach complaint goes to his local doctor and asks him what he can do. The doctor replies that the illness is quite serious but can be cured with a small course of two suppositories inserted deep up the back passage. The man agrees, and so the doctor warns him of the pain, tells him to bend over, and shoves the thing way up his behind. The doctor then hands him the second dose and tells him to do the same thing in six hours time using rubber gloves and KY-Jelly or something.
So, the man goes home and later that evening tries to get the second suppository inserted, but he finds he cannot reach himself properly to obtain the required depth. Thus, he calls his wife over and tells her what to do. The wife nods, puts one hand on his shoulder to steady him and with the other shoves the medicine home. Suddenly the man screams in disgust. "What's the matter?" asked his wife. "Did I hurt you?"
"No," replies the man, "but I just more...

One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge..
The brain said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
The eyes said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
The hands said "Without me we wouldn't be able to pick anything up or move anything.. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
The stomach said "I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we'd starve. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
The legs said "Without me we wouldn't be able to move anywhere. So I'm the most important and I should be in charge."
Then the rectum said "I think I should be in charge."
All the rest of the parts said "YOU?!? You don't do anything! You're not important! You can't be in more...