Stiff Jokes / Recent Jokes
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their wedding anniversary.
The husband decides to give his wife a gift, a tombstone, with the inscription: "Here lies my wife... cold as ever"
Later the furious wife bought a return present, a tombstone with the inscription: "Here lies my husband... stiff at last"
Once little Siripala was playing with sand in the garden, and his grandfather was watching him. Then suddenly he pulled out a worm from a tiny hole in the sand. The grandfather saw this and said, "I will give you ten rupees if you put the worm back to the hole". Siripala tried his best but the worm was not stiff enough to put into the hole. Then he brought a tin of varnish, and applied some on the worm, and left it for few minutes to dry. When the worm was dry, it became stiff, and then he easily put the worm into the hole. Siripala's grandfather said, "You did it boy! I'll give you your ten rupees tommorrow".
The next day the grandfather gave him twenty rupees. Siripala asked, "Why did you give me twenty?". Then the grandfather said, "Well; The extra ten rupees is from your grandmother, as an appreciation for your invention".
A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down.
"Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed.
The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him.
"Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?" he asked again.
The old man slowly looked at him and said, "Well, last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. ...This was your Grandma's idea."
After big tragedies the net often swims with humor about the people and event involved. Some people think this is a healing process, others find it in bad taste.
WARNING: DO NOT READ If think you might be offended by Sonny Bono death jokes.
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What do Cher and a 50 year old Redwood have in common?
They both got nailed by Sonny Bono. .
What's the difference between Al Gore and Sonny Bono?
One's a tree-hugging stiff...
and the other's a tree-hugging stiff.
That makes it...
TREES. ........ 2
Celebrites. ... 0
Death by snow:
Michael Kennedy,
Sonny Bono,
Chris Farley
What was the most surprising thing about the discovery of Sonny's body?
That he was recognized.
Why did Sonny die in a ski accident?
After being a mayor and a congressman, he wanted to be a Kennedy.
Police reported it was a quick more...
Questions to Ponder about ViagraIf a man overdoses on Viagra, how do they get the casket lid shut? If the insurance companies are going to set guidelines before approving Viagra coverage, what are they going to use? A growth chart? I dropped a Viagra in a jar of small sweet pickles last night and this morning had a jar full of big Kosher dills. I would only take Viagra for intellectual purposes, so my head would swell. Before Viagra, for some people, making love was classified as "assault with a dead weapon." Viagra, medicine's version of "MIRACLE-GRO." Mix Viagra and Prozac and you have a guy who is ready to go, but doesn't really care where. Are you taking Viagra or are you just happy to see me? If however you do need to take Viagra, remember to swallow them quickly otherwise you'll get a stiff neck. A shipment of Viagra was highjacked today. Police have put out an All-Points bulletin: Be on the lookout for two hardened criminals! They will face a stiff sentence more...