Statue Jokes / Recent Jokes

Museum Administrator: That's A 500-Year-Old Statue U've Broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I Thought It Was A New One.

An American tourist wanted to see some of the Sahara desert, so he rented a camel. Having packed plenty of water and food for a 3 day sojourn, he set out. He was on the 2nd day and entered an oasis to rest and water his camel and noted that a guy had a shop at the oasis with a neon sign, "CAMEL MECHANIC." He looked in the shop and saw several camels being worked on. His camel seemed to be working fine so the next morning, he began his return trip.
Several hours into the desert, the camel stopped walking, and just stood there like a statue. He tried pulling, yanking, pushing, every method imaginable to get the camel to move, but it wouldn't budge.
He then decided to backtrack by foot and find the oasis with the camel mechanic. Following the tracks made in the sand, he spent the better part of the day walking through the sand dunes back to the oasis. Finally getting there, he went to the camel mechanic and explained that his camel just stopped and was sitting out there more...

On what should you mount a statue of your cat? A caterpillar!

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Statue!
Statue who?
Statue? . This is me.!

A guy named Jack was having an affair with a married woman. He was at her house one night while her husband was away on business and they were really into making love when they heard the front door open.
"Oh no! It's my husband!" the woman said." He'll kill you. Quick I've got an idea."
The woman took him into the bathroom and rubbed baby oil all over him and then proceeded to pat him all over with white powder. She took him back into the bedroom shoved him into the corner and told him to stand as still as he could, like a statue.
Just in time she turned around to great her husband. He smiled and gave her a big hug. "Hi honey I've missed you while I've been away."
"Yes," she replied " I though you would be back days ago."
Just then the husband noticed Jack. "What is that?"
The woman quickly said "It's a new age statue. The Jones in 3A have one just like it and I thought it would be a good more...

A male pastor walked into a neighbourhood pub to use the toilet. The place was hopping with music and dancing, until people saw the pastor. As the room quieted down he walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the toilet?"

The bartender replied, "I really don't think you should."

"Why not?" the pastor asked. "I really need to use the toilet!"

"Well, I don't think you should. There is a statue of a naked woman in there -- and she's only covered by a fig leaf!"

"Nonsense," said the pastor, "I'll look the other way!"

So, the bartender showed the clergyman the door at the top of the stairs, and he proceeded to the toilet. After a few minutes, he came back out, and the whole place was hopping with music and dancing again! He went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. When I came in here, the place was hopping with music and dancing. more...

There are two statues standing in the woods. They have been there standing on their pedastals for 500 years. A girl statue and a boy statue.
Finally one day the Good Fairy came down. You have been here for five centuries, naked just looking at one another. Now, the Good Fairy said to the statues, you have five full seconds to jump down off your pedastals and run out there in the bushes and do whatever it is that you would like to do.
The girl statue and the boy statue jumped down, ran into the bushes, came back out brushing the leaves out of their hair and jumped back upon their pedastals.
The Good Fairy said, "you used three seconds, you have two more seconds to finish what you were doing."
The boy statue looked at the girl statue and said, "this time you hold the pigeon and I'll poop on it's head!"