Bushes Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A father and son live on a farm. One day the father says, "Son, things haven't been going very well and I'm afraid we'll have to sell your duck. I'm really sorry, but we need the money. I want you to take the duck to town and bring back the money."So the son takes the duck and sets off down the road. Halfway to town he runs into a hooker. She says, "Hey kid, I could show you a really good time if you're interested." He replies, "I'd sure like to, but all I have to pay with is this duck." "Well," she says, "maybe we can work something out."So they go off into the bushes and the branches are snapping and feathers flying... When they come out, she is breathless and says, "Wow! That was incredible! Not bad for a kid. Tell you what, if you can do that again, I'll give you back your duck."As you might guess, he's all for that idea. So they return to the bushes and get it on again. When they are done she is still amazed at his more...

    For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven.
    "You've been such exemplary statues," he announced to them, "That I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
    The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.
    "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.
    Grinning even more widely the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time...
    you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on it's head."

    A man goes to the confessional and begins "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned."
    "What is your sin, my son?" the priest asks back."Well," the man starts, "I used some horrible language this week and I feel absolutely terrible." "When did you use this awful language?" asks the priest.
    "I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a phone line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."
    "Is that when you swore?" "No, Father," says the man.
    "After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away."
    "Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Father again. "Well, no," says the man.
    "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and more...

    Two beautiful statues were in a park, facing each other across the grass, one of a young girl and the other of a young man, looking towards each other like young lovers.
    These statues gave so much pleasure to people visiting the park that God looked down and decided to reward them with life for 30 minutes, on a Sunday when the park was closed to the public.
    Immediately when they came alive, they ran together into the bushes and could be heard giggling and cooing with pleasure and the bushes were shaking.
    After 15 minutes they came out and realised that they still had 15 minutes more life to live.
    "What shall we do now then," said the boy statue. "Let's do the same thing again," she replied.
    "Okay," said the boy statue, "but this time, you hold the pidgeons down while I shit on them."

    For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park until one day, an angel came down from heaven.
    "You've been such exemplary statues," the angel said, "that I'm going to give you a special gift. I'm going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, during which time you can do anything you want." And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.
    The two approached each other a bit shyly and dashed for the bushes, from whence there came a good deal of giggling, laughter, and shaking of branches.
    Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes with wide grins on their faces.
    "You still have fifteen more minutes," said the angel, winking at them.
    Grinning even more broadly, the female statue turned to the male statue and said, "Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll shit on it's head!"

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