Stairs Jokes / Recent Jokes

Angus Broon of Glasgow comes to the little lady of the house exclaiming, "Maggie, cud ya be sewin on a wee button that's come off of me fly? I can't button me pants." "Oh Angus, I've got me hands in the dishpan, go up the stairs and see if Mrs. MacDonald could be helpin ya with it."

About 5 minutes later, there's a terrible crash, a bang, a bit of yelling and the sound of a body falling down the stairs. Walking back in the door with a blackened eye and a bloody nose comes Angus. The little lady looks at him and says, "My God, what happened to ya? Did you ask her like I told you?"

"Aye," says Angus. "I asked her to sew on the wee button, an she did, everything was goin' fine but when she bent doon to bite off the wee thread, Mr. MacDonald walked in."

This is a true story:
A rather well-proportioned secretary, Joan, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel.
She wore a bathing suit the first day but, on the second, she decided that no one could see her wayyy up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs; she was lying on her
stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind you sunbathing on the roof but we would very much appreciate you wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday." "What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

A rather well-proportioned secretary, Joan, spent almost all of her vacation
sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day
but, on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and
she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard
someone running up the stairs; she was lying on her stomach, so she just
pulled a towel over her rear.

"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel,
out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind you
sunbathing on the roof but we would very much appreciate you wearing a
bathing suit as you did yesterday."
"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me
up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."

"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on the more...

There's this man who's taking a walk around the red light district
until he passes a whorehouse with a blinking sign saying: "The
Hooker With Three Breasts...". The man get's just a little
interested and thinks "well... that could be a once in a lifetime
experience". So he goes in and walks up to the man behind the
counter. "I'd like to see the hooker with the three breasts" he
says.
"Are you sure you can afford that... It'll cost you a thousand
dollars" the pimp replies. But, the man is too exited, pull's his
wallet and pays him the money. So, he's taken up three stairs to a
little room in the back of the house and when he opens the room...
there she is. The room is dark but as he comes closer he sees it...
three breasts! And so the man absolutely has the night of his life.
The next day the man walks past that same whorehouse and thinking of
the night before and the time he had, he goes in more...

One day, little Tommy wanders into the local brothel, dragging a dead frog on a piece of string along behind him (FX: thud thud thud etc.) He goes up to the woman at the front and says "Please, Miss, I'd like a girl please." "Go home, sonny" replies the proprietor, not unkindly, "you're too young yet for this."
Tommy reaches into his pocket and drags out a $50 note which he slaps on the desk and beams brightly. "Up the stairs, 3rd door on the right" comes the reply as the $50 vanishes.
Tommy starts to climb the stairs, (Thud thud etc.) when he runs back again. "I forgot, this girl has got to have active herpes!" he cries. "No way kid, all our girls are clean!" Tommy reaches into the other pocket and another $50 appears. "Ahh, last door on the left..." he is told. Tommy climbs the stairs, still dragging the dead frog on the string (thud thud thud), and some time later reappears. He waves to the woman at the more...

question
there was a lady that painted everything green and she lived in a one story house what color were the stairs
answer
there was no stairs it was a one story house

Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are 22 questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:
1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"
3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"
4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"
5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"
6. "Did he kill you?"
7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"
8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
9. "How many times have you committed suicide?"
10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And more...