Stairs Jokes / Recent Jokes

A rather well-proportioned secretary (the blonde), spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She'd hardly begun when she heard someone run-ning up the stairs; she was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered little assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."
"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."

Q. "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?" A. "Yes." Q. "And what were you doing at that time?" Q. "She had three children, right?" A. "Yes." Q. "How many were boys?" A. "None." Q. "Were there any girls?" Q. "You say the stairs went down to the basement?" A. "Yes." Q. "And these stairs, did they go up also?" Q. "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?" A. "I went to Europe, Sir." Q. "And you took your new wife?" Q. "How was your first marriage terminated?" A. "By death." Q. "And by whose death was it terminated?" Q. "Can you describe the individual?" A. "He was about medium height and had a beard." Q. "Was this a male, or a female?" Q. "Is your appearance here this morning due to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?" A. more...

The husband was not home at his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later. Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.
"Do you realize what time it is?" she asked.
He answered, "Don't get excited. I'm late because I bought something for the house."
Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked, "What did you buy for the house, dear?"
His answer was, "A round of drinks!"

There once was a little green man, who lived in a little green house. One day he went into his little green house and went up his little green stairs. He went into his little green bathroom and got into his little green bath.
There was a knock at the door. The little green man got out of his little green bath and put on a little green towel. He went down the little green stairs and answered the door. There was a beautiful woman standing on the door step. She told him that he had just won

1. Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person
dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes
quietly away and doesn't know anything about it
until the next morning?
2. Q: What heppened then?
A: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because
you can identify me.'
Q: Did he kill you?
3. Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?
4. The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
5. Were you alone or by yourself?
6. How long have you been a French Canadian?
7. Do you have any children or anything of that kind?
8. Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize
that picture.
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?
9. Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?
10. Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage
terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
11. Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: more...

Joan, the well proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her
vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit
the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see
her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.
She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She
was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear.
"Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the
hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. " The Hilton
doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we'd appreciate your
wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."
"What difference does it make," Joan asked rather calmly. " No one
can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"Not exactly," said the embarrassed gentleman. "You're lying on the
dining room skylight."

3 ladies are on their way to Heaven. There is a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They had to walk up 100 stairs to get to Heaven without laughing. God was going to be telling jokes the whole time.
On the second stair, the redhead laughs and goes down. On the 38th stair the brunette laughs and goes down. n the 99th stair, the blonde laughs. God says, "Why are you laughing? You only have 1 more stair to go!" The blonde answers, "I just got the first joke!"