Squire Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Prior to leaving for the Crusade, a knight called for one of his squires. "Should I not return from the Crusade," the knight said, "I would hate to think of my beautiful wife spending the rest of her life alone. Therefore, since you are my closest and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key to her chastity belt. You have my permission to use it, should anything befall me."
    The knight then sets out on the dusty road. Turning back to take one last look at his castle, he sees his squire rushing across the drawbridge, yelling, "Wait! Wait!"
    Fearing something might be wrong, he waits until the squire reaches him. "What is it?" the knight asks.
    "You gave me the wrong key!" the squire replies.

    There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.
    The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had five squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had twenty knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle. At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor.
    When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight more...

    In a village match, the local squire was at the crease. He missed the first ball of the day which clipped the off stump and the bail fell to the ground. Picking it up he looked pointedly at the umpire. "Windy today, isn't it?" he asked."Aye, Squire," came the answer, "but I'm not, and you're out."

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