Spoon Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As hesat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. Anearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a cleanspoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed, andasked, "Do all the waiters carry spoons in their pockets?"The waiter replied, "Yes. We had an efficiency expert here thatdetermined that 17. 8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen."The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented,"Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a stringhanging from your fly?" The waiter replied, "Yes, we all do. Thatsame efficiency expert determined that we spend 21. 4% of our timewashing our hands after using the men's room. The other end of thatstring is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull thestring to get my tool out of my pants, go, and then return to work. more...

The dinner guests A Jewish family invited their Redneck neighbors over for holiday dinner.
The first course was set in front of them and the Jewish couple announced, "This is soup made with matzoh balls."
On seeing the 2 large matzoh balls in the soup, the redneck man was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. Gently, the Jewish couple urged him to, "Just have a taste. If you don't like it, you don't have to finish it."
Finally he agrees. He digs his spoon in, first picking up a small piece of matzoh ball with some soup in the spoon, and tasting it gingerly. The usual mmmm sound can be heard coming from somewhere deep in his chest, and he quickly finished the soup.
"That was delicious," he said, but I was wondering... "Can you eat any other parts of the matzoh?"

A Jewish family invited their Redneck neighbors over for holiday dinner.

The first course was set in front of them and the Jewish couple announced, "This is soup made with matzoh balls."

On seeing the 2 large matzoh balls in the soup, the redneck man was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. Gently, the Jewish couple urged him to, "Just have a taste. If you don't like it, you don't have to finish it."

Finally he agrees. He digs his spoon in, first picking up a small piece of matzoh ball with some soup in the spoon, and tasting it gingerly. The usual mmmm sound can be heard coming from somewhere deep in his chest, and he quickly finished the soup.

"That was delicious," he said, but I was wondering...
"Can you eat any other parts of the matzoh?"

Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.

A husband suspects his wife is having an affair. He needs to go on a business trip for several days, so he decides to set a trap for her.

He puts a bowl of milk under the bed. From the bed springs, he suspends a spoon. He has it calibrated so that her weight on the bed will not drop the spoon into the milk. But, if there's any more weight than that, the spoon will drop into the milk and he will detect it upon his return home.

He comes home several days later. The first thing he does is reach under the bed and retrieve the bowl.

The bowl is full of butter.

I took some friends out to dinner last week, and I
noticed a spoon in the shirt pocket of our waiter as he handed us the menus. It seemed a little odd, but I dismissed it as a random thing. Until our busboy came with water & tableware. He too, sported a spoon in his breast pocket. I looked around the room, and all the waiters, waitresses,
busboys, etc. had spoons in their pockets. When our waiter returned to take our order, I just had
to ask, "Why the spoons?"
"Well," he explained, "our parent company recently hired some consulting efficiency experts to review all our procedures, and after months of
statistical analyses, they concluded that our patrons drop spoons on the floor 73% more often than any other utensil; at a frequency of 3 spoons
per hour per workstation. By preparing all our workers for this contingency in advance, we can cut our trips to the kitchen down and save time. . . nearly 1. 5 extra man-hours per shift." more...

A man goes to a busy restaurant and sits down at the only empty table.
As he sits down, he accidentally knocks the spoon off the table with
his
elbow. The waiter immediately takes a spoon from his pocket and places
it on the table.
The man, impressed by the promptness of the service asks, "Do all the
waiters carry a spoon in their pockets?"
The waiter answers, "We had an efficiency expert evaluate our
operation and he determined that 25 percent of the customers knock the
spoon off their tables, and that by carrying a spare spoon on us, we
save a trip to the kitchen and can be much more efficient."
Later as the customer asked for his bill he remarks to another waiter,
"Excuse me, but why do you have a string hanging from your fly?"
The waiter answered, "The efficiency expert determined that we were
spending too much time washing our hands after we went to the
bathroom, so the more...