Spit Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    An Irishman, Englishman andScotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands themover, three flies buzz down and one lands in each of the pints.The Englishman looksdisgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.The Scotsman picks out thefly, shrugs, and takes a long swallow.The Irishman reaches in tothe glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit itout, ya bastard! Spit it out!"

    A Guy Opens A Bar To Make The Bar More Popular He Put A 10ft Fish Tank And Said Whoever Walks Into My Bar Has To Spit In It 2
    Yrs Pass By And The Tank Is Full He Had To Empty The Tank Out Somewhere b'coz He Didnt Want To By Another Tank Saying That
    This Tank Was Very Lucky So He Had A Competition It Was That If A Person Can Drink The Whole Tank Of Spit He Would Have A
    Life Time Supply Of Booze. Three Contestants Sign Up So The 1st Contestant Sips And Sips And Starts Vomiting, The 2nd
    Contestant Has Five Sips And Starts Vomiting, 3rd Contestant Sips And Stops Sips And Stops Like This He Finishes The Wholw
    Tank So The Bar Owner Asked Him Why Did U Sip And Stop Sip And Stop So The Third Contestant Turns Around And Tells Him I Was
    Chewing On The Lumps Of Saliva....

    GOOFS FOR TITANIC (1997)
    Continuity
    Jack won his ticket by beating 2 pair with a full house. However, when we first see Jack's hand, he has nothihg that could be made in to a full house, and only draws one card.
    Revealing mistakes
    A strip of desert is visible between the dock and the Titanic when docked at Southampton.
    Anachronisms
    Jack claims to have gone ice fishing on Lake Wissota, which wasn't created until five years after the Titanic sank. Jacks claims to have visited the Santa Monica Pier, which did not begin construction until 1916. The pipe frames supporting the third class berths have set-screw speed rail fittings, not developed until 1946.
    Continuity
    In the scene where Jack is teaching Rose to spit, there is no spit on his chin as he starts to turn around to face the ladies, but by the time he has completed his turn he has some on his chin.
    The main characters have lunch in the Palm Court/Verandah on A Deck. These were not used for more...

    One day a man with a box walked in a bar. He sat down, opened the box and out popped a leprechaun. The man told the bartender, "I want a pint of beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here."
    There was man sitting at the end of the bar watching all of this and, after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar and spit in the guy's face, then he ran back.
    The guy with the box said, "I'll have another beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here."
    After the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he again ran to the end of the bar and spit in the man's face, then dashed back.
    The guy with the box ordered another beer for himself and another shot for the leprechaun. Again, after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar. But this time the man was waiting for him and he grabbed the leprechaun and held him in the air.
    He said, "If you spit in my face again, I'm going to cut your more...

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