Spinster Jokes / Recent Jokes

An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office. The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?"

The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went to the spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will.

The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will?"

She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have $40,000 in my savings account at the bank."

"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the $40,000 to be more...

An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared.
The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office.
The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?"
The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went to the spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will.
The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have $40,000 in my savings account at the bank."
"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the $40,000 to be distributed?"
The more...

An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about preparing a will. The receptionist suggested they set up a convenient time for the spinster to come to the office. "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?" the elderly woman asked. The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and went to the spinster's home to discuss her estate and the will.
The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will?" "I have $40,000 in my savings account at the bank," she replied.
"Tell me just how would you like the $40,000 to be distributed?" the lawyer asked. "Well, as I've told you, I've lived a reclusive life, people have hardly ever noticed me, so I'd like them to notice when I more...

An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she would like to see the lawyer to have her will drawn up. An appointment was set up for the following day.
"Tell me what you have in assets and how you would like them to be distributed under your will," the lawyer said.
"In addition to the furniture and accessories I have listed here, I have $40,000 in my savings account," replied the spinster.
"How would you like to have the $40,000 distributed?" asked the lawyer.
"Well, as I've told you, I have lived a very reclusive life," the spinster explained. "People have hardly ever noticed me, so I would like them to notice when I pass on. I would like to provide $35,000 for my funeral."
"For $35,000 you will certainly be able to have a funeral that will be noticed and will leave a lasting impression on anyone who may not have taken much note of you," remarked the lawyer. "But, tell more...

An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the
receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will
prepared.
The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office.
The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my
life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it
be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?"
The receptionist checked with the attorney who agreed and he went
to the spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and
the will.
The lawyer's first question was,
"Would you please tell me what
you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed
under your will?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here,
I have $40,000 in my savings account at the bank."
"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the $40,000 more...

The old spinster was rocking on her front porch with her tomcat at her feet, when a good fairy suddenly appeared before her and offered her three wishes.
"Aw, go on," the little old lady said in disbelief, "if you can grant three wishes, let's see you turn this rocking chair into a pile of gold?"
The good fairy waved her hand, and "pouf", the rocking chair turned into a pile of pure gold. Her face lighting up, the lady said "I really get two more wishes?"
"Yes", the good fairy assured her. "Anything your heart desires."
"Then make me into a beautiful, voluptuous young woman." Another wave of her hand, and the wish was granted.
"Finally, make my faithful old cat into a tall, dark and handsome young man."
The good fairy waved her hand and disappeared as the third wish came true, and a handsome muscular young man stood where the tomcat had just been sleeping.
The young man more...

A spinster schoolteacher took her fifth-grade charges on a field trip to a country fair. There was a race track on the grounds and she asked them whether they would enjoy seeing the horses. The children enthusiastically exclaimed they would, but as soon as she got them inside the gate, they all requested to be taken to the lavatory. She accompanied the little girls, but sent the boys to the men's room alone. They trooped out almost immediately and announced that the facilities were too high for them to reach.
The situation was an awkward one, but after looking about to make sure she was unobserved, the teacher ushered the boys back in. She lined them up before the plumbing and moved methodically down the line, After lifting several, she came to one who was unusually heavy. "Goodness," she exclaimed, "are you in the fifth?" "Hell no, lady," came the startled reply. "I'm riding Blue Grass in the third."