Speeding Jokes / Recent Jokes
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card. The driver more...
There were these people and there names were Shut-up crap and manners they driving down a highway and were speeding crap seen something out the window and jumped to get it so manners went after him so shut-up was all alone. Shut-up was speeding and a cop pulled him over and said whats your name he was like Shut-up and the cop was like whats your name he was like Shut-up and the cop was like wheres your manners Shut-up was like 5 miles back picking up crap!!
A Realtor, driving his buyers around looking at houses, is suddenly pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the Realtor’s car door, and the Realtor says "Is there a problem officer?"
The policeman says, "Sir you were speeding. Can I see your driver’s license please?"
The driver responds, "I can’t give it to you – because I don`t have one..."
"You don`t have one," asks the policeman?
The Realtor responds, "I lost it 4 times for drunk driving..."
The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration please?"
"I am sorry, I can do that either," replies the Realtor, as the homebuyers in the back seat look stunned.
The policeman says, "Why not?"
"I stole this car," the Realtor responds, as the homebuyers in the back seat look shocked.
The Officer says, "Stole it?"
The Realtor says, "Yes I stole it, more...
A driver is pulled over by a police man.
Man: Is there a problem Officer?
Officer: Sir, you were speeding.
Man: Oh I see.
Officer: Can I see your licence please?
Man: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Man: Lost it 4 times for drink driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration
papers please.
Man: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Man: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Man: Yes, and I killed and raped the owner.
Officer: You what?
Man: She's in the boot if you want to see.
The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away
to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5
police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly
approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer2: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle
please! The man steps out of his vehicle.
Man: Is there a problem sir?
Officer2: One of my officers told me that you more...