Society Jokes / Recent Jokes
Questions and answers selected from tests in Springdale, Arkansas in 2000 to 16 year old students! (Don't laugh too hard - one of these may be the president someday.)
Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: What is a planet? A: A body of earth surrounded by sky.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections? A: Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets a election.
Q: What are steroids? A: more...
The other day some friends and I were discussing one of the few
recurrent philosophical topics that come up in our conversations:
society as a whole. It was taking its usual course; one of my friends
insisted that society was going to hell, the other was somewhat
neutral, and I thought that people were simply becoming more tolerant
of differences.
My first friend announced (again) that society was on a steady
down-hill road. "Everyone today," she said, "is either messed up in
the head, a druggie, or a nymphomaniac."
My other friend laughed and nodded. Never having heard the word
before, I puzzled over what' nymphomaniac' could mean.
Trying not to sound stupid, I swallowed my pride and asked, "What's
that?"
"A girl who's obsessed with sex," explained my second friend.
I paused for a moment, thinking. I then turned and asked them, "Then
what is a guy obsessed with more...
Q: How many preservation society members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, but it takes a year to find an antique Edison lightbulb so it'll be aesthetically accurate.
At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, Ireland, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.
The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black willies, but the one in the middle had a pink willy.
The curator of the gallery realized that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black men in a predominately white, patriarchal society.' In fact,' he pointed out,' some serious critics believe that the pink willy also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society.'
After the curator left, an Irishman, approached the couple and said,' Would you like to know what the painting is really about?'
'Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?' asked the more...
TO: Those in our society who criticize seniors in our society for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world. FROM: The Seniors MESSAGE: We take responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others. BUT, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took: -The melody out of music, -The pride out of appearance, -The romance out of love, -The commitment out of marriage, -The responsibility out of parenthood, -The togetherness out of the family, -The learning out of education, -The service out of patriotism, -The Golden Rule from rulers, -The civility out of behavior, -The refinement out of language, -The dedication out of employment, -The prudence out of spending, or -The ambition out of achievement, -Prayers & Christmas out of the public schools -The acceptance of lying and deceit from presidents, -And we certainly are NOT the ones who eliminated patience and tolerance from personal relationships and interactions with others!! more...
1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control are not natural.
2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people cannot get legally married because the world needs more children.
3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children because straight parents only raise straight children.
4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears's 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.
5. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and it hasn't changed at all: women are property, Blacks can't marry Whites, and divorce is illegal.
6. Gay marriage should be decided by the people, not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of minorities.
7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are always more...
The other day some friends and I were discussing one of the few recurrent philosohical topics that come up in our conversations: society as a whole. It was taking its usual course; one of my friends insisted that society was going to hell, the other was somewhat neutral, and I thought that people were becoming more tolerating of differences.
My first friend announced (again) that society was on a steady down-hill road. “Everyone today, ” she said, “Is messed up in the mind, a druggie, or a nymphomaniac. ”
My other friend laughed and nodded. Never having heard the word before, I puzzled over what ‘nymphomaniac’ could mean.
Trying not to sound stupid, I swallowed my pride and asked, “What’s that? ”
“A girl who’s obsessed with sex, ” explained my second friend.
I paused for a moment, thinking. “Then what, ” I asked, “Is a guy obsessed with sex? ”
My first friend had an answer immediately, “Normal! ”