Snakes Jokes / Recent Jokes

What's a snakes favourite dance? The mamba!

To ensure that you have a good time on your trip to Australia, your team members have planned and developed a special itinerary to fill the time during your leisure hours. Agenda follows:
Day 1: The "10 Deadliest Snakes" Fall Tour
You and a guest will be escorted through the outback and provided with the opportunity to handle and examine each of the world's 10 most deadly snakes.
Day 2: The "Great White Encounter"
You and your tour guide will take a small boat to the Great Barrier Reef, where you will be able to dive into the chum-laden water and experience the beauty of the Great White shark.
Day 3: The Aboriginal "Festival of Spears"
You will be the honored guest of a small aboriginal village as they celebrate the subjugation of the aboriginal race by the white man, with free liquor and a special weapons exhibition.
Day 4: The "Crocodile Dundee" Petting Zoo
You will be able to come up-close and personal with the more...

Two snakes were slithering their way through a field.
One turned to the other and asked, "You don't suppose we're poisonous, do you?"
"I'm not sure. Why do you ask?" the other said.
"Well, I just bit my lip!" replied the first.

Why are snakes hard to fool? They have no legs to pull!

What sort of perfume do snakes prefer? Poison by Christian Dior!

What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food? Snakes and Larders! sna

The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, “What do you have in there, pal? ”
“A mongoose. ”
“What for? ”
“Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I’m scared to death of snakes. That’s why I got this mongoose, for protection. ”
“But, ” the friend said, “you idiot! Those are imaginary snakes. ”
“That’s okay, ” said the drunk, showing his friend the interior of the box, “So is the mongoose. ”