Skills Jokes / Recent Jokes
1...Silence, the final frontier - Where no woman has gone before.
2...The undiscovered side of Banking - How to make deposits.
3...Combatting the Imelda Marcos Syndrome - You don't need new shoes everyday.
4...Learn how not to inflict your Diets on other people.
5...Nag Nag Nag - how to overcome your tendency to be a fish wife.
6...An invitation to a party does not mean that you have to have a new outfit.
7...Man Management - Discover how the garbage can wait until after the game.
8...Personal Space - Leaving at least enough space in the bathroom cupboard for your partners toothbrush.
9...Valuation - Just because it's not important to you.
10..Communication Skills I - Tears as the last resort and not the first.
11..Communication Skills II - How to think before speaking.
12..What he really wants - Is buying the right razor blades so difficult.
13..Driving a car safely - A skill you can also acquire.
14..Real women drink their share at more...
The chief of staff of the US Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in the recuiting crisis affecting all of our armed services.
So, he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and that all elgible young men and women be invited.
As he and his staff were standing near an brand new F-15 Fighter, a pair of twin brothers who looked like they had just stepped off a Marine Corps recruiting poster walked up to them.
The chief of staff walked up to them, stuck out his hand and introduced himself.
He looked at the first young man and asked, "Son, what skills can you bring to the Air Force?"
The young man looks at him and says, "I'm a pilot!"
The general gets all excited, turns to his aide and says, "Get him in today, all the paper work done, everything, do it!" The aide hustles the young man off.
The general looks at the second young man and asked, "What skills to you bring to the Air Force?"
The more...
A big game hunter walked into the bar and bragged to everyone about his skills as a hunter. The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute that. But then he said that they could blindfold him, and he would recognize any animal's skin from its feel. And if he could locate the bullet hole. he would even tell them what caliber rifle was used to shoot it. This was a bit too much for the other customers, and soon a heated argument was going on. Then the hunter said that he was willing to prove it if they would put up the drinks, and the bet was on.
They blindfolded him carefully and took him to his first animal skin. After feeling it for a few moments, he announced, "Spring Buck." Then he felt for the bullet hole and declared, "Shot with a .22 rifle." The others could not believe it. He was right, and the argument was even hotter than before. When some started to suggest that he must have peeked, he said that he was prepared to do it again. He would more...
1. Silence, the final frontier: Where no woman has gone before.2. The undiscovered side of Banking: How to make deposits.3. Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You don't need new shoes everyday.4. Learn how not to inflict your Diets on other people.5. Nag Nag Nag - how to overcome your tendency to be a fish wife.6. An invitation to a party does not mean that you have to have a new outfit.7. Man Management: Discover how the garbage can wait until after the game.8. Personal Space: Leaving at least enough space in the bathroom cupboard for your partners toothbrush.9. Valuation: Just because it's not important to you.10. Communication Skills I: Tears as the last resort and not the first.11. Communication Skills II: How to think before speaking.12. What he really wants: Is buying the right razor blades so difficult.13. Driving a car safely: A skill you can also acquire.14. Real women drink their share at a party.
15. Telephones: How to hang up.16. Parking: Beginners Course.17. more...
1. Silence, the final frontier: Where no woman has gone before.2. The undiscovered side of Banking: How to make deposits.3. Combating the Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You don't need new shoes everyday.4. Learn how not to inflict your Diets on other people.5. Nag Nag Nag - how to overcome your tendency to be a fish wife.6. An invitation to a party does not mean that you have to have a new outfit.7. Man Management: Discover how the garbage can wait until after the game.8. Personal Space: Leaving at least enough space in the bathroom cupboard for your partners toothbrush.9. Valuation: Just because it's not important to you.10. Communication Skills I: Tears as the last resort and not the first.11. Communication Skills II: How to think before speaking.12. What he really wants: Is buying the right razor blades so difficult.13. Driving a car safely: A skill you can also acquire.14. Real women drink their share at a party.15. Telephones: How to hang up.16. Parking: Beginners Course.17. Parking more...
Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. PLATO: For the greater good of man. ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take. SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. RONALD REAGAN: I forget. CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using more...
Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answers:
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken' crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the more...