Skiing Jokes / Recent Jokes

So, these three good friends arrive at a ski lodge late at night, and are told there's only a single room available. Fortunately, it has a king-size bed and they agree to share the room, quickly going to bed in order to hit the slopes early the next morning.
The next morning, while they're suiting up, the man that slept on the left side of the bed says, "You know, I had the strangest dreams! I kept dreaming that someone was jerking me off!"
"That's funny," replies the man sleeping on the right, "I had the same kind of dream!"
They both turn and stare at their friend that had slept in the middle.
"Don't look at me!" he exclaims. "I dreamed about skiing all night!"

"If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country."

A couple went to a ski-lodge on their honeymoon and spent the first three days in their room making love.
When they decided to join their friends in the bar downstairs, the husband suggested they could avoid embarrassment by putting on their skiing clothes, jumping out the window and getting snow all over themselves.
Then they could stroll into the bar pretending they had been out skiing most of the time. As they walked into the bar brushing snow off of each other, the husband said in a loud voice, "Wow! Anyone who doesn't enjoy screwing must have a ski loose!"

This is especially for those lads who are planning to ski this year....

A friend just got back from a holiday ski trip to Utah with the kind of story that warms the cockles of anybody's heart. Conditions were perfect, 12 below, no feeling in the toes, basic numbness all over. The "Tell me when we're having fun" kind of day.

One of the women in the group complained to her husband that she was in dire need of a restroom. He told her not to worry, that he was sure there was relief at the top of the lift in the form of a powder room for female skiers in distress. He was wrong, of course, and the pain did not go away. If you've ever had nature hit its panic button in you, then you know that a temperature of 12 below zero doesn't help matters. So with time running out, she weighed her options.

Her husband, picking up on the intensity of the pain, suggested that since she was wearing an all white ski outfit, she should go off in the woods. No one more...

Three guys were sleeping in one bed. When the guy on the end wakes up he say "i had a dream i was getting a hand job" then the other guy on the end wakes up and sya the same thing. the guy in the middle wakes up and says "i had a dream i was skiing!"

A woman and her husband decided to go on a skiing trip one weekend. They rode the ski lift to the top of the mountain, and were preparing to go down. The woman suddenly announced that she needed to use the restroom, and NOW. Her husband told her that since the coast was clear, she could just hide behind a tree and go.
Well, the woman had her pants down around her ankles when she suddenly began going down the mountain. She hit a tree on the way down and broke her leg and her arm and had several other bumps and bruises.
When she awoke at the hospital, she was surprised to see another man who was dressed in a skiing outfit and also looked as if he had been in a skiing accident. The woman was very curious about this man, so she asked him what happen.
You'll never believe it, he told her. I was just skiing down the mountain, and a woman went by with her pants around her ankles, and I crashed into a bush.

A lady went skiing and halfway down the hill had to go to the bathroom. No facilities nearby, she decided to find a sheltered area, dropped her pants and proceeded to relieve herself.
Suddenly she found herself beginning to slide backwards. Out into the open and down the slope with her pants around her knees. She crashed and broke her leg.
The paramedics rushed her to the local hospital. Her doctor walked into her room laughing his head off. He said,"You're not going to believe this, but the guy in the next room claims he fell off the ski lift and broke his leg because he saw a naked lady skiing backwards down the mountain!
So, how did you break YOUR leg??"