Site Jokes / Recent Jokes

there was a guy that stutters and he was not good at maths he went 2 the bank looking for a job and the boss said are u good at maths and he said no so the boss said i cant give you the job so he went home and the next day came so he was looking for a job again so he 2 the construction site and they had a job for him so he went 2 the top of the building and there was a guy waiting for him so they started talking 2 each other and the construction guy said do you want earn some money and the new guy said yes how so the constuction guy said watch so he did and the man got a brick and threw it off the buildingand yelled out falling brick and the man came up and said thanks 4 saving me and gave him $50 he did it agin and got given $100 and again and got $200 and then said you have a turn so he got a brick and dropped it and said fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff fuck i hit him

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A steelworker walks into a construction site and applies for a job. The site foreman is impressed by his job references and past experiences. He looks fit and has a good personality. He is on the verge of offering the man a job when he notices a break of six months in the employment record.

The foreman asks "What were you doing for six months?"

The steel fixer shuffles his feet a bit and replies "There was an accident on site and I was injured with a disk cutter".

"That's awful", says the foremen, "Was it a bad injury"?

The steel fixer shuffles his feet even more and replies, "Its not something I would want passed around the site, but the disk cutter caught me in the groin and they had to amputate both my testicles in hospital later".

"Well I can see why you wouldn't want that known". Said the foreman. "You look fit enough now and your references are excellent so more...

Two Kiwi guys are working at the top of a high rise building site in New Zealand. Anyway, Phul (Phil) turns to Muck (Mick) & says "I've gotta take a puss, but there's nowhere to go."
"Walk out to the end of that plank" replies Muck. "I'll stand on this end and balance you."
"Are You sure Muck?"
"Yeah, no worries mate"
"100%?"
"YES!"
So out goes Phul to take a piss, but before he's finished, the lunch siren sounds. Muck forgets what he's supposed to be doing and steps off the plank. Phul, of course, is a goner.
Several months later, an Australian, a Frenchman and a bloke from New Zealand are sitting in a pub discussing which of their respective nations chase women the hardest.
Greg the Aussie says, "Mate, I've been known to miss out on a piss-up session down the pub with me mates trying to crack on to sheilas!"
Pierre the Frenchman says "Non, non, non. We more...

An Irishman living in Devon goes for a job on a construction site.
The foreman says, "Can you brew tea?"
The Irishman says, "Yes."
"Good. Can you drive a fork lift?"
The Irishman looks at him and says, "Why, just how big is the teapot?"

Outside a small Macedonian village, close to the border between Greece and strife-torn Yugoslavia, a lone Catholic nun keeps a quiet watch over a silent convent.
She is the last caretaker of a site of significant historic developments. The convent once served as a base for the army of Attila the Hun. In more ancient times, a Greek temple to Eros, the god of love, occupied the hilltop site. The Huns are believed to have first collected and then destroyed a large gathering of Greek legal writs at the site. It is believed that Attila wanted to study the Greek legal system and had the writs and other documents brought to the temple. When the Greek Church took over the site in the 15th Century and the convent was built, church leaders ordered the pagan statue of Eros destroyed, so another ancient Greek treasure was lost. Today, there is only the lone sister, watching over the old Hun base.
And that's how it ends: No Huns, no writs, no Eros, and nun left on base.