Site Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy, working 35 floors up at a construction site, had to go to the bathroom. He approached his foreman and told him he was going to go down to use the facilities. The foreman told him he was nuts, explaining that by the time he got down and back up he would lose a half hour of time.
Instead, the foreman pushed a plank out over the edge of the building, stood on one end and told the guy to go out on the other end and do what he had to do. He added that since they were 35 floors up, his pee would turn into vapour before it reached the bottom. So, the guy decided to take his foreman's advice.
Suddenly, the foreman's cell phone rang and he jumped off the board to get it, causing the guy to fall to his death!
At the inquest, another worker who was on the 31st floor at the time of the accident was asked if he knew what happened.
"I'm not sure," he replied, "but I think it had something to do with sex."
"Something to do with sex?" the more...

One day, a reporter for a suburban newspaper happened upon a construction site with a sign that ominously warned: "DANGER. RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS."
Driven by the prospect of a hard-hitting expose, he made a quick call to his editor, then returned to the scene to investigate. The construction supervisor looked unhappy to see him; "I'll tell you the truth," he said, "but I'm going to ask you not to publish what I say."
"This is just like the movies," he thought.
The supervisor continued, "There's nothing radioactive on this site. That sign has been the only way to keep our lumber from being stolen."

A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Murphy. The boss thought I`m not hiring that lazy Irishman, so he decided to set a test for Murphy, hoping he wouldn`t be able to answer the questions, and he`d be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.The first question was, "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." So Murphy says, "Dat`s easy," and proceeds to draw three tree`s. The boss says, "What the hell`s that?" Murphy says, "Tree `n tree n` tree makes nine." Fair enough, says the boss.Second question, same rules, but represent 99. Murphy stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. "Der ya go sir," he says. The boss scratches his head and says, " How on earth do you get that to represent 99. Murphy says, " Each tree`s dirty now! so it`s dirty tree, n` dirty tree n` dirty tree, dats 99."The boss is getting worried he`s going to have to hire more...

Copied from Houston Chronicle Columnist, Jim Barlow:
Enough of the serious stuff. It's a new month and time for Weird Business News - a look at the antics of Homo Businessperson in search of a buck.
Cheers to toy maker Mattel for its new doll, Barbie Loves Frankie Sinatra. We needed Barbie in a metallic dress drinking martinis and smoking.
And thanks to reader Stan Daley who reports the sprinkler he just bought had a sticker on the bottom stating that it's for outdoor use only. "Dang, I wanted to use it in the living room on my wife's potted plants," he said.
Our At Least the Boss Doesn't Need a Costume Award to the National Retail Federation survey that found 39.1 percent of American workers say they have considered dressing up for Halloween at work.
The Why Remind the Investors What Might Happen Award to Poore Brothers of Goodyear, Ariz., which announced it is dropping its NASDAQ stock symbol "POOR" in favor of "SNAK."
Best more...

404
someone who is clueless, from the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found", meaning the requested document couldn't be located - Don't bother asking him, he's 404.
Adminisphere
The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rack and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
Alpha Geek
The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
Beepilepsy
The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.
Blamestorming
sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
Brain Fart
A byproduct of a bloated mind producing information more...

In related news, a developer said a proposed wind farm site near DC is too windy because of its proximity to Joe Biden.

This consultant is working on a Web development project for a client, and he's also got a nontechnical intern to keep busy. Fortunately, that's a solution, not a problem."Part of the project included setting up about 150 user accounts for the client's customers to log in to a secure portion of the site and download their reports," says the consultant."Setting up 150 user accounts seemed like a simple enough job, would keep our intern busy and took a task off my plate. I gave him a list of usernames and showed him how to set up accounts on the server."In fact, he gives the intern some further guidance. From past experience, he knows that passwords consisting of random letters and numbers make security gurus happy but drive users crazy -- either users can't remember the gibberish passwords or they constantly mistype them.He explains all this to the intern and instructs him to create passwords that consist of a word from the dictionary, followed by two or three more...