Similarity Jokes / Recent Jokes

What is the similarity between a shrimp and a man?
You can enjoy all but the head
What is the similarity between a dolphin and a man?
They are both said to be intelligent, but no one can prove this.
What is the similarity between a microwave oven and a man?
They both get hot in 15 seconds
Why can't a man be both good-looking and intelligent?
Because that would make him a woman.
Why is a man's brain the size of a peanut?
Because it is swollen.
Why are batteries better than men?
Batteries have at least one positive end.
Why does it take one million sperm to fertilise one egg?
Because sperm are male and they refuse to ask directions.
Why are men like the letter Q?
Because it is a big fat zero with a small protrusion.
Why do fewer women get married these days?
Because they would rather have bacon in the fridge, than a pig in the
living room.
What is the similarity between a video recorder and a more...

10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled... SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!
4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown... but so's your ass.
3. You're a honey... and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!

...probably one of the best...
Paleoanthropology Division
Smithsonian Institute
207 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20078
Dear Sir:
Thank you for your latest submission to the Institute, labeled
"211-D, layer seven, next to the clothesline post. Hominid
skull." We have given this specimen a careful and detailed
examination, and regret to inform you that we disagree with your
theory that it represents "conclusive proof of the presence of
Early Man in Charleston County two million years ago." Rather, it
appears that what you have found is the head of a Barbie doll, of
the variety one of our staff, who has small children, believes to
be the "Malibu Barbie." It is evident that you have given a great
deal of thought to the analysis of this specimen, and you may be
quite certain that those of us who are familiar with your prior
work in the field were loathe to come to contradiction with more...

What is the similarity between a sardar & a donkey? Both moves towards the road transport as they grown up.

The following began life as a Top Ten list of "Mistakes Made by Adolf Hitler."
it was passed around during a lecture in a political science class of mine and
soon grew to over 100 entries. I have culled out the stupid and/or truly
offensive ones, as well as any that said nasty things about any particular
nationality (read, the French.) You'll have to excuse the fact that some
of them are rather obscure, but that's what happens when you get a bunch of
political scientists in the same room. Without further ado, I give you...
Top 59 Mistakes Made by Adolf Hitler
Land War in Asia
Changed name from highly catchy "Schickelgruber" to boring "Hitler"
Leaving his little mustache: not growing a friendly Abe Lincoln
beard to instill trust among subjects
Not buying lifts for his shoes
Failure to exploit Me 262 Messerschmidt
Failure to exploit Eva Braun
Chose swastika as party symbol rather than the more...

Super kadis
1)What is the similarity between krishna jayanthi and communism?
Kaal marks.(kaal - legs)

2)How do flies communicate?
eee-mail

3)What is the similarity between short circuit and poramai (jealousy)?
Wire-eriyarthu (stomach - burning)

4)What is the similarity between boxing and goddess kali?
Naak-out (naak is tounge)
Marana kadis (deadly jokes)
1. Deepavalikkum pongalukkum yennanga vithyaasam? ( what is the difference between deepavali and pongal)
Deepavali annikku pongal saapadalaam aana Pongal annikku Deppavaliy sapda mudiyaadhu. ( we can eat pongal during deepavali but on pongal we can't eat deepavali)

2. LIC oda 14th floorla sandhanam poosi yirukkanga. Yaen? (the 14th floor the famout LIC building in chennai had sandle paste on it, why? )
Yaenna adhu Mottai maadi.(Because it is mottai (bald) maadi (terrace))

3. Oru annanum thangachchiyum oadi varranga. Annan more...