Shopping Jokes / Recent Jokes

Why do brunettes take blondes shopping with them? So they can park in the handicap spaces.

I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn`t get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me "Do you know how much this is?" and I said to her "I`ve changed my mind, I don`t think I`ll buy that today." She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.....

It was just before Christmas and the magistrate was in a happy mood. He asked the prisoner who was in the dock,' What are you charged with?'
The prisoner replied,' Doing my Christmas shopping too early.'
'That's no crime', said the magistrate.' Just how early were you doing this shopping?'
'Before the shop opened', answered the prisoner.

A teenage girl shopped at the mall and stopped at the perfume counter. She sees, “My Sin”, “Desire”, and “Ecstasy”. She says to the salesperson, “I don't want to get emotionally involved... I just want to smell nice. ”

A blond decides that she needs to go shopping
As she buys 8 bottles of hair spray the man behind her asks "Why buy that much hair spray"
She said "Your right it will go bad, but I hear it stays good for a week after it goes bad".

Late last week, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping
done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season
right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my
car up with gifts that I felt obligated to buy. I noticed that I was missing a
receipt that I might need later. So mumbling under my breath, I retraced my
steps to the shopping centre entrance.
As I was searching the wet pavement for the lost receipt, I heard a quiet
sobbing. The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy of about 12 years old.
He was short and thin. He had no coat. He was just wearing a ragged flannel
shirt to protect him from the cold night's chill.
Oddly enough, he was holding a hundred pound note in his hand. Thinking that he
had gotten lost from his parents, I asked him what was wrong. He told me his sad
story. He said that he came from a large family. He had three brothers and more...

Does your mum like shopping on the Internet? No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.