Shocked Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day a young girl accidentally walks in to the bathroom whilst her mother is taking a shower. Shocked she looks down at her mothers lower regions and asks "Mummy whats that???". Her mother blushingly replies "Ohh thats my little hedgehog" and then tells the girl to leave room. About 2 weeks later the young girl is visiting her grandmother, when she accidentaly walks in to the bathroom whilst she's taking a bath. Shocked she points to her grandmother lower regions and says "Grandma whats that?", to which her grandmother replied "Ohh that's my little hedgehog". At this point the girl ran out of the bathroom screaming and ran toward her mother, shouting and crying "Mummy, Mummy Grandma's hedgehog is dead". "Why??" asks her mother, "Because all its guts are hanging out replied the girl"

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position.
After putting a number of suitable applicants through the training and testing, the choice was narrowed down to 2 men and a woman, but only one position was available.
The day came for the final test to see which person would get the extremely secretive job.
The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances" they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."
The man looked shocked and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my own wife!"
"Well", says the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right more...

A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin.
These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot
of testing and background checks involved before you can even be
considered for the position.
After sending some applicants through the background checks, training
and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a
woman, but only one position was available.
The day came for the final test to see which person would get the
extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one
of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what
the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find
your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."
The man got a shocked look on his face and said, "You can't be
serious! I could never shoot my own more...

There was a businessman, and he was not feeling well, so he went to see the doctor about it. The doctor says to him, "Well, it must be your diet, what sort of greens do you eat?" The man replies, "Well, actually, I only eat peas, I hate all other green foods." The doctor was quite shocked at this and says, "Well man, that`s your problem, all those peas will be clogging up your system, you`ll have to give them up!!" The guy says, "But how long for, I mean I really like peas!" The doctor replies, "Forever, I`m afraid." The man is quite shocked by this, but he gives it a go and sure enough, his condition improves, so he realizes that he will never eat a pea again. Anyway, one night, years later, he`s at a convention for his employer and getting quite sloshed and one of the reps says, "Well, ashully, I`d love a cigarette, coz I avint ad a smoke in four years, I gave it up." Quite a shocker really, and the barman goes, more...