Sexy Jokes / Recent Jokes
The little sexy housewife was built so well the TV repairman couldn't keep his eyes off her. Every time she came in the room, he'd nearly jerk his neck right out of joint looking at her.
When he'd finished she paid him and said, "I'm going to make an unusual request. But you have to first promise me you'll keep it a secret."
The repairman quickly agreed and she went on.
"Well, it's kind of embarrassing to talk about, but while my husband is a kind, decent man, he has a certain physical weakness. A certain disability. Now, I'm a woman and you're a man. .."
The repairman salivated in anticipation, "Yes, yes!"
"And since I've been wanting to ever since you came in the door..."
"Yes, yes!"
"Would you please help me move the refrigerator?"
Whatsamatta University's Seminars For Women Fall Catalogue
Once again, the male staff at Whatsamatta University will be offering courses for women of all marital status in an attempt to help males and females understand each other better. Attendance in at least 10 of the following courses is required.
Etiquette and Behavior:
EB101: PMS (Preposterous Mood Swings) - Learning To Sleep Over At Mother's
EB102: We Do Not Want Ties For Christmas (Just Wear The Sexy Lingerie I Gave You)
EB103: How Not To Sob Like A Sponge When Your Husband Is Right
EB104: Why It Is Unacceptable To Talk About Feminine Hygiene In Mixed Company
EB105: If You Want To Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother
EB106: How To Act Younger Than Your Mother
EB107: Apologizing For Farting When You're On The Toilet Is Not Necessary
General Electives:
GE101: You, The Whining Sex
GE102: Why You Don't Need To Invite Your Mother Over Every more...
Etiquette and Behavior:
EB101: PMS (Preposterous Mood Swings) -Learning To Sleep Over At Mother's
EB102: We Do Not Want Ties For Christmas
(Just Wear The Sexy Lingerie I Gave You)
EB103: How Not To Sob Like A Sponge When Your Husband Is Right
EB104: Why It Is Unacceptable To Talk About Feminine Hygiene In Mixed Company
EB105: If You Want To Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother
EB106: How To Act Younger Than Your Mother
EB107: Apologizing For Farting When You're On The Toilet Is Not Necessary
General Electives:
GE101: You, The Whining Sex
GE102: Why You Don't Need To Invite Your Mother Over Every Weekend
GE103: Payday And Shopping Are Not Synonymous
GE104: Female Friendship - Why Your Best Friends Are Not The Women Who Complain About You The Most
GE105: Learning To Appreciate Beer Belly And Lard Butt Morphologies Of Men
Home Economics:
HE101: You Can Change The Oil Too
HE102: How To Properly Fill A Beer more...
Etiquette and Behavior:EB101: PMS (Preposterous Mood Swings) -Learning To Sleep Over At Mother'sEB102: We Do Not Want Ties For Christmas(Just Wear The Sexy Lingerie I Gave You)EB103: How Not To Sob Like A Sponge When Your Husband Is RightEB104: Why It Is Unacceptable To Talk About Feminine Hygiene In Mixed CompanyEB105: If You Want To Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your MotherEB106: How To Act Younger Than Your MotherEB107: Apologizing For Farting When You're On The Toilet Is Not NecessaryGeneral Electives:GE101: You, The Whining SexGE102: Why You Don't Need To Invite Your Mother Over Every WeekendGE103: Payday And Shopping Are Not SynonymousGE104: Female Friendship - Why Your Best Friends Are Not The Women Who Complain About You The MostGE105: Learning To Appreciate Beer Belly And Lard Butt Morphologies Of MenHome Economics:HE101: You Can Change The Oil TooHE102: How To Properly Fill A Beer MugHE103: How To Do All Your Laundry In One Load And Have More Time To Watch FootballHE104: more...
Why We Appreciate Men And How Our Bubbles Get Burst When He Ain't Prince Charming!! (and added comments)1. They've got that comfortable place on their shoulder that's perfect for snuggling into while we fall asleep. (At least that's what his girlfriend/wife says - depending on which YOU are!)2. They're at peace with their bodies, except for maybe some minor anxiety over height, weight, and baldness. (The *names deleted* of the world.. . teehee!!)3. They're enthusiastic about our bodies, even when we're not. (Yeh, don'tcha love it when they say you look great.. . just don't get over 200 lbs!!)4. They're beyond enthusiastic about sex. (OK if they are discriminate.. . about who they are having it with!!)5. They fall in love so hard, once they finally fall. (And don't be shocked if it is their wife.. . " you helped me through a hard time in our marriage and now it's better than ever" OR.. . " yes, I confess, I DID have a fling (you!!), but let's not let that interfere with more...
If a man is bald at the front, he is a thinker.
If he is bald at the back, he is sexy.
If he is bald from front to back - he thinks he is sexy.
The sexy redhead was telling her roommate about an unusual experience she'd had on a date the night before.
"George asked me to pose for him," she said, "in the nude."
"And of course you told him you're not a model," countered the roommate.
"Of course," said the redhead, "but he said that didn't matter, because he's not an artist."