Senior Jokes / Recent Jokes
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling."
"Old" is when... your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.
Every time I think I've hit bottom, someone lends me a shovel.
I am a senior citizen...- I'm the life of the party... even when it lasts' till 8pm.- I'm very good at opening childproof caps with a hammer.- I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going.- I'm good on a trip for at least an hour without my aspirin, antacid...- I'm the first one to find the bathroom wherever I go.- I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up.- I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a word you're saying.- I'm very good at telling stories... over and over and over and over.- I'm aware that other people's grandchildren are not as bright as mine.- I'm so cared for: long-term care, eye care, private care, dental care.- I'm not grouchy, I just don't like traffic, waiting, children, politicians...- I'm positive I did housework correctly before the Internet.- I'm sure everything I can't find is in a secure place.- I'm wrinkled, saggy and lumpy, and that's just my left leg.- I'm having trouble remembering simple words like... uh...- more...
"Old" is when... a sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door nearest your car.