Scots Jokes / Recent Jokes
An Englishman, lecturing on his travels, was speaking disparagingly about the Scots in Canada and the mixing of the race with the Indians. ‘You’ll find,’ he said, ‘a great number of Scots half-breeds and French halfbreeds, but you cannot find any English half-breeds.’ ‘Not surprisingly,’ shouted Wee Hughie in the audience. ‘The squaws had to draw the line somewhere.
The origin of the bagpipes was being discussed and the representatives of different nations were eagerly disclaiming responsibility for the instrument. Finally, and Irishman said, "Well, I'll tell you the truth about it. The Irish invented them and sold them to the Scots as a joke; and the Scots haven't seen the joke yet!"
Concerning bagpipes: The Irish invented them and gave them to the Scots as a joke, and the Scots haven't seen the joke yet.
Two Scots, father and son, go to America. - Daddy, when we'll arrive? - Shut up and swim.
Scots are known to be frugal. But one guy was carrying things a bit too far. It seems he slept with his mother-in-law to save wear and tear on the bride.
theres an english man scots man and an irish man, and they find a magic cave they all go the scots man goes in first, he sees a tenner on a table and he runs up a takes it and as he turns around, a ghost appears and say im the ghost of mary mable leave the tenner on the table, so he puts it back and runs out, the irish man does exasactly the same and the same thing happens to him. but when the english man comes in he takes the tenner turns around and the ghost says im the ghost of mary mable leave the tenner on the table and the english man replies, im the ghost of daffy duck pick up the tenner and run like fuck!!! LOL
First, God created the Irish. He said to himself, "These people are fun. They`re very fun. But I *don`t* want them to *ever* rule the world." So to handicap them, He gave them Whisky. Then God created the Scots. He said to himself, "These people are almost as much fun as the Irish. But I don`t want them to ever the world, either." So to handicap them, He gave them Kilts and Bagpipes. Then God created the Welsh. He took one look at them, and said, "No way!!". So to handicap them, He gave them the Welsh Language. Finally, God created the English. And for the smallest possible moment in time, He was worried. For he knew that these people would come closer to ruling the world than any of the others. So he realized that he needed to give them a great handicap. So He gave them. .. the Irish, Scots, and Welsh.