Scots Jokes / Recent Jokes

Concerning bagpipes: The Irish invented them and gave them to the Scots as a joke, and the Scots haven't seen the joke yet.

An scots man a french man a pakistani man and an english man are sitting in the pub talking when the scots man picks up the bottle of whiskey on the table and throws it out of the window saying "we have so many of them in scotland i dont want to see another one" at hearing this the french man grabs the red rose from the vase on the table and exclaims "we too have so many roses that i to do not want to see one" the english man then gets to his feet and grabs the pakistanian man and throws him out the window shouting "we have so many of them in england i dont want to see another one".

A Scots pessimist is a man who feels badly when he feels good for fear he'll feel worse when he feels better.

Two shipwrecked Scots had been hanging on for hours to an upturned boat.
Wee Hughie, realizing that he might not be able to hold our much longer, began to recount his past misdeeds, and to vow that if he escaped he would in future lead an entirely new life. Suddenly, there was a cry from his comrade in distress:" Wait, Hughie! Don't commit yourself yet - I think I see land! "

Scots are known to be frugal. But one guy was carrying things a bit too far. It seems he slept with his mother-in-law to save wear and tear on the bride.

A lot of ethic groups are known for being tight with money.
Other groups are known to drink too much.
Some groups are even known for being people of few words.
Only the Scots however have combined all these traits and thrown in a kilt and bagpipes for good measure.

Concerning bagpipes: The Irish invented them and gave them to the Scots as a joke, and the Scots haven’t seen the joke yet.