Sara Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.
She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"
The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."
So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred buck just to see one."
Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says "That was so amazing I've got to see both of them. I'll give you another 100 dollars if I could just see the both of them together."
Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.
A more...
Things Not To Say To Your New Girlfriend's Parents
Can I pull my car in your garage? I'm not sure how long that cop car will stay lost.
There ain't nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara's will be okay too.
Nice place you got here. That painting looks expensive. I bet a nice home like this came with a safe already built in, didn't it?
Sara is so pretty I've decided to give up being bisexual just for her.
Those home pregnancy kits aren't very reliable in my opinion.
We're going to keep our relationship quiet for now. My wife can be rather vindictive at times.
Can you believe it! Those shitheads at the corner market won't cash my welfare check!
Which one of you taught Sara to give such great head?
My parole officer thinks Sara has a calming effect on me.
There were all these cute little old people in a nursing home.
There was one man and a woman that had sort of become a couple and every day after lunch, Sara would wait for Joe and they would walk over to sit under the apple tree. And every day while sitting together under the apple tree, Sara would put her hand down Joe's pants for a while and everyone was happy.
Then, one day Sara waited for Joe after lunch as usual and he never showed up. Sara waited for a while and then went to her room. The next day the same thing happened. The third day when Joe didn't show up, Sara walked over to the apple tree and saw Joe sitting with another lady and this new lady had her hand down Joe's pants.
Well! Sara went over to the two and started hollering and scared the new lady off then Sara looked at Joe and said, "Joe, why would you dump me for her? What does she got that I haven't got"?
Joe smiled sheepishly and replied, "Parkenson's Disease".
One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.
She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"
The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."
So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred buck just to see one."
Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says "That was so amazing I've got to see both of them. I'll give you
another 100 dollars if I could just see the both of them together."
Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.
A while later Tony arrives back more...
Harvey and Sara - an elderly married couple - have trouble remembering things, so they write everything down. One night in bed, Sara gets a craving and wakes up her husband.
'Get up and bring me some apple pie and ice cream, Harvey,' Sara says. 'And you better write it down.'
'I think I can remember that,' Harvey mumbles as he heads for the kitchen.
Twenty minutes later, Harvey returns with a plate of scrambled eggs and sausage.
'What's this?' Sara asks.
'It's what you asked for!' Harvey says.
'See, I told you to write it down,' Sara says. 'You forgot my toast.'
Top Ten Things Not To Say To Your New Girlfriend's Parents...
10. Can I pull my car in your garage? I'm not sure how long that cop car will stay lost.
9. There ain't nothing that beats that great feeling of knowing your HIV test results are negative! I bet Sara's will be okay too.
8. Nice place you got here. That painting looks expensive. I bet a nice home like this came with a safe already built in, didn't it?
7. Sara is so pretty I've decided to give up being bisexual just for her.
6. Those home pregnancy kits aren't very reliable in my opinion.
5. We're going to keep our relationship quiet for now. My wife can be rather vindictive at times.
4. Can you believe it! Those shit heads at the corner market won't cash my welfare check!
3. Which one of you taught Sara to give such great head?
2. Did you see that saucer that flew over town yesterday?
1. My parole officer thinks Sara has a calming effect on me.
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. He says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want."
The first nun says, "I want-a to be Sophia Loren" and poof! she's gone.
The second says, "I want-a to be Madonna" and poof! she's gone.
The third says, "I want-a to be Sara Pipalini."
St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.
"Sara Pipalini" replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says "I'm sorry but that name just doesn't ring a bell." The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says "No Sister, this says' Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in six months "