Sand Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Supply Guy An Italian, and Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy. "You`re in charge of sweeping," to the Irishman, "You`re in charge of shoveling," and to the Chinese guy, "And you`re in charge of supplies." "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that pile." So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian, "Why didn`t you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies, "I didn`t have a broom. You said the Chinese guy was in charge of supplies, but he disappeared and I couldn`t find him." So then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn`t shovel. The Irishman replies, "I couldn`t get myself a shovel. You left the Chinese guy in charge of supplies, but I couldn`t find him." The foreman is really upset more...
During the Six Day War, this division of Arabs is making its way across the burning desert sands towards Israel, when the Arab commander, bouncing along in his jeep, spots an aged Israeli on top a distant sand dune. The commander drops his binoculars and shouts orders to a foot soldier to run up ahead and kill the infidel Israeli. The soldier sprints ahead of theadvancing troops, and soon disappears over the sand dune. The general stops the troops and waits to see what happens.Nothing happens. The commander sends a whole platoon of soldiers to investigate. All twelve Arabs disappear over the sand dune, never to be seen again. The now-slightly-anxious commander dispatches 3 tanks to find out just what in the heck is going on, and they disappear over the dune, too. Sweat pours down the commander's forehead as he orders his entiredivision to overrun the solitary Israeli behind the sand dune.But just then, the first soldier reappears on the distant sand dune and cups his hands to his more...
Two friends had arranged a round of golf and were now on the first tee, preparing to start their game at 7 a. m. Just as the first was half way up his backswing, a good looking young lady ran across the course about 10 yards in front of him, peeling off her clothes as she went until she was totally naked. As she disappeared into the woods he turned, dazed, to his companion, "What was that about?!!!" "Take no notice. Just get on with the game," replied the other. Settling down and lining up for his drive, the first golfer then noticed four men in white coats running across the course on a similar track to the young lady. "What......?!?" "Look. Just get on with the game," said the second. "We don't have all day, and you know the course closes at 9 p. m.," the second says with a chuckle. For the third time the golfer squared up to the ball, only to be distracted by another man in a white coat running across the fairway, lugging two more...
Q. What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A. A tick falls off of you when you die.
Q. Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A. To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
Q. What do you have when 100 Lawyers are buried up to their neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
Q. What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q. What is black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A. A Doberman.
Q. Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A. If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, They cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
Q. What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
A. One in 3, 000, 000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q. Did you hear that the Post Office just more...
There was a little old man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror and was admiring his body when he noticed that he was suntanned over his entire body with the exception of his penis. He decided to do something about it. So he went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand except for his penis.
Just then two little old ladies were strolling along the beach, one walking with a cane. Upon seeing this "thing" sticking out of the sand, she began to move it about with her cane. She remarked to the other little old lady,
"There ain't hardly no justice in this world."
The other little old lady asked, "What do you mean by that?"
"Well," the first lady said, "When I was 20, I was curious about it.
"When I was 30, I enjoyed it.
"When I was 40, I asked for it.
"When I was 50, I paid for more...
There was a little old man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning he looked into the mirror and was admiring his body when he noticed that he was suntanned over his entire body with the exception of his penis. He decided to do something about it. So he went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand except for his penis.Just then two little old ladies were strolling along the beach, one walking with a cane. Upon seeing this "thing" sticking out of the sand, she began to move it about with her cane. She remarked to the other little old lady,"There ain't hardly no justice in this world."The other little old lady asked, "What do you mean by that?""Well," the first lady said, "When I was 20, I was curious about it."When I was 30, I enjoyed it."When I was 40, I asked for it."When I was 50, I paid for it."When I was 60, I prayed for it."When more...