Sacrificial Jokes

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    How To Be A Cultist:

    Recently, the Society For Evil Overlords has noticed a regrettable
    decline in the availability and quality of fanatical henchmen, evil
    priests, and willing sacrificial victims. We wish to correct this
    growing problem by submitting the following general guidelines for
    Cultists.

    1. Pick one faith and stay with it. Dilettantism is the mark of
    the amateur.

    2. Avoid needless embarrassment. Practice the correct
    pronunciation of your deity+s name in the privacy of your own room
    before chanting it in public. Flash cards are often helpful.

    3. Never invoke anything bigger than your head.

    4. Avoid all cabalistic jewelry over ten pounds in weight+ it
    attracts unwelcome attention from tourists, policemen, various
    supernatural creatures, and can be downright dangerous during
    thunderstorms.

    5. Citronella candles may not be used in rituals. I cannot stress
    this more...

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