Rottweiler Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man walks into a bar one day and asks, “Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside? ”
“Yeah, I do! ” a biker says, standing up. “What about it? ”
“Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him…”
“What are you talkin’ about?! ” the biker says, disbelievingly. “How could your little runt kill my rottweiler? ”
“Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog’s throat! ”

Paddy was standing at the bar with a Rottweiler at his feet.
'Does your dog bite, Paddy?' asked Mick.
'No,' replied Paddy.
So Mick went to pat the dog and the dog just about tore Mick's arm off.
'I thought you said your dog didn't bite,' screamed Mick.
'That's not my dog,' replied Paddy.

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They’d have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. The used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it.
“When the day came for the fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long more...

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.

One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. The used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it.

"When the day came for the fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine more...

Bush and Osama decided to settle the war once and for all. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would have 5 years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side’s dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.
Osama found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from the litter, and removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk. After 5 years, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were 5 ” thick and nobody could get near it.
When the day came for the dog fight, Bush showed up with a strange looking animal. It was a 9 foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for Bush because there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with the Afghanistani dog. When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out of more...

Mrs. Lonefold's dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman.
He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment, and, since she had to go to work the next day, she told him: "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check."
"By the way, don't worry about my Rottweiler. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, not under any circumstances talk to my parrot!"
When the repairman arrived at Mrs. Lonefold's apartment the next day, he discovered the biggest and meanest looking Rottweiler he had ever seen.
But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet, watching the repairman go about his business.
However, the whole time he was there, the parrot drove him nuts with his incessant cursing, yelling, and name-calling. Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!"
To which the parrot more...

A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?""Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?""Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him...""What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?""Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"