Biker Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A highly timid little man ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"
    A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"
    "Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."
    "What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?"
    "Sir," answered the little man, "it's a little four week old female puppy."
    "Bull!" roared the biker, "how could your puppy kill my Doberman?"
    "It appears that your dog choked on her, sir"

    A grey-haired truck driver stopped at a diner for lunch, when three motorcyclists walked in. Just as the trucker was about to eat, the first biker walked up to him and put his cigarette in the trucker's coffee.
    The second biker then walked up to the trucker, grabbed the burger from his hand and took a bite. The third biker grabbed his pie and ate it.
    Remaining calm, and without saying a word, the trucker got up, paid the cashier and left. When he was gone, one of the bikers smugly said to the waitress, "Not much of a man, was he?"
    "Not much of a driver either," replied the waitress. "He just backed his 18-wheeler over three motorcyles."

    A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last request, to which the cowboy replies, "Ah shore do, wardn. Ah'd be mighty grateful if'n yoo'd play 'Achy Breaky Heart' fur me bahfore ah hafta go.""Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that," says the warden. He turns to the biker, "And you, biker, what's your last request?""That you kill me first."

    After work on a Friday evening, three guys were sitting in a bar, talking. One was a doctor, one was a lawyer, and one was a biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure that if she doesn't like the diamond ring, she will at least like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her."
    After finishing his scotch, the lawyer replied, "Well, on my last anniversary, I got my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured that if she didn't like the pearls, she would at least like the trip, and she would know that I love her."
    The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah? Well, for my anniversary, I got my old lady a T-shirt and a vibrator. I figured that if she didn't like the T-shirt, she could go f*** herself."

    A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker barin the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outsideto the parking meter?"A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his bodyhair growing out through the seams, turned slowly onhis stool, looked down at the quivering little manand said, "It's my dog. Why?""Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous,"I believe my dog just killed it, sir.""What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in thehell kind of dog do you have?""Sir," answered the little man, "It's a four week oldpuppy.""Bull!" roared the biker, "How could your puppy kill myDoberman?""It appears that he choked on it, sir."

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