Biker Jokes / Recent Jokes

A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch and ordered a cheeseburger, coffee, & a slice of apple pie. As he was about to eat, three bikers pulled up. They came in, and one grabbed the trucker's cheeseburger out of his hand and took a huge bite from it. The second biker drank the trucker's coffee, & the third biker wolfed down the apple pie. The truck driver didn't say a word, just paid the cashier & left. When he was gone, the bikers snickered & congratulated each other for being such bad asses. As the cashier walked up, a biker growled, "He ain't much of a man is he?" "He's not much of a driver neither," replied the cashier. "He just backed his 18 wheeler over three motorcycles."

Three guys were sitting in a bar talking. One was a Doctor, one was a Lawyer, and one was a Biker. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said; "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I got my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedez. I figure that if she doesn't like the diamond ring, she will at leastlike the Mercedez, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer replied; "Well, on my last anniversary, I got my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, she would at leastlike the trip, and she would know that I love her." The Biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said; "Yah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a tee-shirt and a vibrator. Ifigured if she didn't like the tee-shirt, she could go fuck herself."

A guy just died and he's at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafin' through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy. St. Peter goes through the Book several times and furrows his brow
"You know, I can't see that you ever did anything really bad in your life, but you never did anything really good either. If you can point to even one REALLY GOOD DEED -- you're in." The guy thinks for a moment.
"Yeah, there was this one time when I was driving down the highway and saw a giant group of Biker Gang Rapists assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of' em ripping the clothes off this terrified young woman. Infuriated, I got out of my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang, a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the Biker Gang Rapists formed a more...

A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St.
Pete is leafin' through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of
entering. Saint Peter goes through the books several times,
furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you
did
anything really good in your life but, you never did anything bad
either. Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed
that you did in your life, you're in."
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Yeah, there was this one
time when I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a giant group of KKK
Biker Gang Members assaulting this poor guy. I slowed down my
car to see what was going on, and sure enough, there they were, about 50
of' em torturing this guy.
Infuriated, I get out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk,
and walked straight up to the leader of the gang, a huge guy with a
studded leather jacket and a chain more...

A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last request, to which the cowboy replies, "Ah shore do, wardn. Ahd be mighty grateful ifn yood play Achy Breaky Heart fur me bahfore ah hafta go.""Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that," says the warden. He turns to the biker, "And you, biker, whats your last request?""That you kill me first."

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker, were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her."
After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her."
The Biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

A biker walks into a yuppie bar and shouts, “All lawyers are assholes! ” He looks around, obviously hoping for a challenge.

Finally a guy comes up to him, taps him on the shoulder, and says, “Take that back. ”

The biker says, “Why? Are you a lawyer? ”

“No, I’m an asshole. ”