Rottweiler Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.
    One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and which ever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world. The losing side would have to lay down its arms.
    The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler bitches in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. They used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen.
    Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. When the day came for the dog fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long more...

    A lady and her dog were enjoying a stroll in the park when her dog was mounted from behind by a large Rottweiler. The Rottweiler was really humping away and the lady was frantically trying to break them up, to no avail.A small boy walked up and stuck his finger in the Rottweiler's butt, and the dog leapt in the air and the action stopped immediately.The lady was amazed. "How did you do that?" she asked.The little boy said, "That's my dog! He can dish it out, but he can't take it!"

    What's the difference between a Jewish Mother and a Rottweiler?
    Eventually the Rottweiler lets go!

    A man walks into a bar one day and asks, "Does anyone here own that rottweiler outside?"
    "Yeah, I do!" a biker says, standing up. "What about it?"
    "Well, I think my chihuahua just killed him..."
    "What are you talkin' about?!" the biker says, disbelievingly. "How could your little runt kill my rottweiler?"
    "Well, it seems he got stuck in your dog's throat!"

    A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said to him, "My dogs cross-eyed. Is there anything you can do for it?" "Well," said the vet "let's have a look at him" The vet picks the dog up by the ears and has a good look at its eyes. "Well," says the vet "I'm going to have to put him down." "Just because he's cross-eyed?" say's the man. "No, because he's heavy," says the vet.

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