Rooster Jokes / Recent Jokes
What do you get if you send a prostitute to law school?
A f***ing know-it-all.
What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his @$%.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
(This is a spoonerism. Do we need to explain it?)
Did you hear about the lawyer who dropped her briefs and became a solicitor?
Here is some random advice to make you smile...
MEN have 2 heads and WOMEN have 4 lips.
The American Dental Association says semen cuts plaque and tartar by 77%. Suck a dick and save a smile...
If you have sex 365 times a year, and if you melted down all of the condoms to make a tire, what would you call it? A fuckin Goodyear!
Sex is like playing spades. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Big Bad Wolf told Little Red Riding Hood to lift her top so he could suck her tits. "No," she said while lifting her skirt, "Eat me like the fuckin book says!"
A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool. The cat fell in and the rooster laughed. The rooster exclaimed, "A wet pussy always makes a cock happy!"
Girls have unique magic tricks, they get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard.
What's the difference between a rooster and a hooker? a rooster says cocka-doodle-doo a hooker says any cock will do.
A man was out driving in his car when all of a sudden a rooster ran out in front of his car, he tried to miss it but unfortunately he ran over the rooster & killed it.
He decided that he should go & tell the farmer, so he got out of his car & walked across the road to the farm, walked up to the front door & knocked, the farmer came to the door & the man said “I’m afraid I’ve killed your rooster, please let me replace him”.
The farmer said “Help yourself, the hens are out the back”.
One day an old rooster who was the king of the hen house is approached by a young strong rooster who says, "You have been king of this hen house for a long time. It is time for me to step in and take over so I am calling you out. If I can take you in a fight, then I will become king of the roost."
The old rooster replies, "I know I have gotten old and you can probably knock my block off. I really don't want to fight you. I am willing to step down from my position but I want to do it with dignity. Let's have a race. We will race around the hen house three times. If you let me lead the first two laps, I will feel like I have had my final moment of glory and will step down as king of the hen house. You can pass me at the beginning of the third lap, win the race, and step in as the new king of the roost."
The young rooster agrees and the race begins. The old rooster is getting pretty tired by the end of the second lap and the young rooster starts to close in to more...
Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?
A: A bird that lays down!
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!
Q: Why don't chickens like people?
A: They beat eggs!
Q: Why did the rooster run away?
A: He was chicken!
Q: What happened when the chicken ate cement?
A: She laid a sidewalk!
Q: What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?
A: She kicked the bucket!
Q: What do you call a crazy chicken?
A: A cuckoo cluck!
Q: Why did the horse cross the road?
A: Because the chicken needed a day off
Q: Why did the cow cross the road?
A: To get to the udder side!
Q: Why did the chicken end up in the soup?
A: Because it ran out of cluck!
Q: What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
A: Coop-cakes!
Q: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top more...