Rooster Jokes / Recent Jokes

A farmer, upset with his low yield of eggs, decided to go to town to buy a fresh rooster who could liven things up a bit with his hens. The man at the supply store told him he wished he could help, but all he had was this incredible randy rooster.
"But that's just what I need!" the farmer said. The store owner said, "Not this rooster, he's trouble. I've never seen anything so horny." But the farmer insisted and eventually took the rooster home on the condition that he wouldn't ever return it.
Once home, the rooster jumped into the hen house and nailed every hen repeatedly until they were all exhausted and nearly dead. Undaunted, the rooster hopped the fence and got in with the ducks, repeating the scene with the hens and wiping out all the ducks. He then leaped another fence and proceeding to nail all the geese.
This continued for three days until all the farm birds that were left alive lay gasping. The farmer found the rooster prostrate in the middle more...

Q. What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
A. (Screaming) "I said. I'm drunk!"
Q. Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A. Because red means stop.
Q. Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A. They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q. Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?
A. To put their feet through.
Q. What's a brunette's mating call?
A. Has that blonde gone yet?
A2. When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?
A3. "All the blondes have gone home!"
Q. What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?
A. "Have another beer."
Q. Why is a blonde like a door knob?
A. Because everybody gets a turn.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A. You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A. You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
Q. What is the difference between more...

One day on a farm a farmer gets a new rooster and puts it in the hen house. The new rooster is talking to the old rooster and the old rooster says, "Just let me have 2 chickens and I'll leave you alone." The young rooster says, "No old man these are my chickens."
So the old rooster says, "Why don't we have a race around the chicken coop to see who deserves the chickens?" The young rooster figuring he is faster agrees, and even desides to give the old rooster a 15 second head start.
So when the race begins the old rooster takes off and 15 seconds later the young rooster begins running. By the time the roosters round the first bend the young rooster has almost caught the old rooster. Then as the go by the house "BANG" the farmer fires his shoot gun and says, "Damn, third gay rooster this month."

The new rooster caused a great stir in the barnyard. From resplendent comb to defiant spurs, he was the picture of young bantam-hood. Almost immediately upon his arrival, he was greeted by an elderly rooster who took him behind the barn and whispered in his ear: "Young fellow, I'm long past my prime. All I want now is to live out my remaining days in peace and solitude. So you take over right now as ruler of the roost with my blessings."
The newcomer did just that. He went about his squirely duties as only a young rooster could. After several days, however, the elder rooster again took the young champion behind the barn.
"Kid," he whispered, "the hens have been after me for giving up my position so easily. So why don't we have a race-say, ten laps around the farmhouse? The winner becomes undisputed keeper of the henhouse, and then the hens will stop nagging me."
The young rooster, with only contempt for his elder's athletic ability, quickly more...

When a newly bought rooster died after only three weeks on the job, the farmer was determined that the replacement would last a while longer, and so, before putting the rooster into the hen coop, he dosed it heavily with vitamins and pep pills. The instant the bird was released, it charged into the coop and serviced every one of the hens therein. Then, before the farmer could stop it, it flew into the adjoining coop and proceeded to do the same for the geese. At this point, the farmer gave up and went back to the house, shaking his head and muttering, "He'll never last out the day." Sure enough, around sunset the farmer was crossing the yard, and there lay the rooster, legs aloft, flat on its back, with two hungry buzzards slowly circling above his supine body. "Damn it!" groaned the farmer. "Now I've got to buy me another new rooster!" At which point the rooster opened one eye, winked and, pointing at the nearing buzzards, said, "Shh!"

Joe did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of his bed.
"What the hell are you doing in my bedroom?... and who are you?" he asked.
"This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and you are in heaven."
"WHAT!!? Are you saying, I'm dead? I don't want to die... I'm too young." said Joe. "If I'm dead, I want you to send me back immediately."
"It's not that easy", said St. Peter, "you can only return as a dog or a hen. You can choose on your own"
Joe thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can't be that bad.
"I want to return as a hen." Joe replied.
In the next second, he found himself in a chicken run, nicely feathered. more...

Whats the difference between a rooster and a hooker? a rooster says cocka-doodle-doo a hooker says any cock will do.