Rooms Jokes / Recent Jokes

A very large mathematical convention was held in Las Vegas. The conventioneers filled two hotels, each with an infinite number of rooms. The hotels were across the street from each other and were owned by brothers. One evening, while everyone was out at a bar-b-que, one of the hotels burned to the ground. The brothers got together and worked out a plan. In the remaining hotel, they moved all guests to twice their room number - room 101 moved to 202, room 1234 moved to room 2468, etc. Then all the odd number rooms were empty, and there were an infinite number of odd rooms. So the guests from the other hotel moved into them

A very large mathematical convention was held in Las Vegas. The conventioneers filled two hotels, each with an infinite number of rooms. The hotels were across the street from each other and were owned by brothers. One evening, while everyone was out at a bar-b-que, one of the hotels burned to the ground. The brothers got together and worked out a plan. In the remaining hotel, they moved all guests to twice their room number - room 101 moved to 202, room 1234 moved to room 2468, etc. Then all the odd number rooms were empty, and there were an infinite number of odd rooms. So the guests from the other hotel moved into them.

This guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him and shows him the doors to three rooms and says he must choose one of the rooms to spend eternity in. So Satan opens the first door. In the room there are people standing in cow manure up to their necks. The guy says "No, please show me the next room". Satan shows him the next room and this has people with cow manure up to their noses. And so he says no again. Finally, Satan shows him the third and final room. This time there are people in there with cow manure up to their knees drinking cups of tea and eating cakes. So the guy says, "I'll choose this room". Satan says O.K. The guys is standing in there eating his cake and drinking his tea thinking, "Well, it could be worse", when the door opens. Satan pops his head around, and says "O.K. tea-break is over. Back on your heads!"

This guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him and shows him the doors to three rooms and says he must choose one of the rooms to spend eternity in.
So Satan opens the first door. In the room there are people standing in cow manure up to their necks. The guy says "No, please show me the next room".
Satan shows him the next room and this has people with cow manure up to their noses. And so he says no again.
Finally, Satan shows him the third and final room. This time there are people in there with cow manure up to their knees drinking cups of tea and eating cakes.
So the guy says, "I'll choose this room". Satan says O.K. The guys is standing in there eating his cake and drinking his tea thinking, "Well, it could be worse", when the door opens. Satan pops his head around, and says "O.K. tea-break is over. Back on your heads!"

The first Jewish President of the United States phones his mother in Queens and invites her to come down for Thanksgiving. She says, "I'd love to, but it's too much trouble. I mean, I have to get a cab to the airport and I really hate waiting on Queens Blvd... "
He replies, "Mom! I'm the President! You won't have any need for a cab. I'll send a limousine for you!"
His mother replies, "I know, but then I'll have to get my ticket at the airport and try to get a seat on the plane, and I hate to sit in the middle... it's just too much trouble."
He replies, "Mom! I'm the President of the United States! I'll send Air Force One for you - it's my private jet!"
To which she replies, "Oh, well, but then when we land, I'll have to carry all my luggage through the airport and try to get a cab... it's really too much trouble."
He replies, "Mom! I'm the President! I'll send a helicopter for you! You won't have to lift a more...

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny. Sunday, December 13, 1992In October, the Swallows Hotel in Gateshead, England, offered 11 chronic snorers a free night's stay so they it could test how well soundproofed the rooms are. The hotel staff tape-recorded the sounds coming from the rooms and promised the loudest snorer a prize.

You Play Too Much DOOM, When...
You attempt to change lanes on the freeway by strafing left.
You try to pull out your BFG9000 after someone cuts you off on your way to work...
You keep trying to pick things up by walking over them..
You eat the blue and green balls off the christmas tree
You feel lousy and look down for the status bar
You grab your kid's backpack and can't believe its empty!?
Your desk at work is piled with paper because you refuse get too close to the recycle barrel.
The only way your wife can get your attention is to throw tomatoes at you.
Your PC boots straight into DOOM unless you press a key.
Your desk is wearing away right in front of the arrow keys!
You know for sure you've played to much when you try to look around the edges of your screen for the cyberdemon that got away.
You back-up your DOOM files daily.
You try to double click on every door in the house.
You use the alarm clock to tell you when to GO more...