Rooms Jokes / Recent Jokes

YOUNG Pakistani civil servant had just got married. He was desperately trying to find somewhere to live. His mother advised him to go and see the faqir (holy man) as a last resort. And so he did.

"What I'm looking for is a small apartment, nothing too expensive, just three rooms, kitchen and bathroom, with a balcony and if possible a telephone and..."

"Very well", said the faqir. "Take this incense and burn it in a little blue teapot. A djinn will appear, who will make your wish come true."

The young man did as the faqir said. He burned the incense in a little blue teapot. And, sure enough, the djinn appeared.

"Your wish is my command!"

"Well, I'd like a small apartment, nothing too expensive, just three rooms, a kitchen and bathroom, with a balcony if possible a telephone...."

"Is that all?" the genie asked. "You fool! if I had a three-roomed apartment, more...

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES
FROM: PERSONNEL DEPT.
SUBJECT: REST ROOM PRIVILEGES
In the past, employees were permitted to make trips to the rest room under informal guidelines. Effective this date, a "Rest room Trip Policy" (RTP) will be established to provide a consistent method of accounting for each employee's rest room time.
Under this policy, a "Rest room Trip Bank" (RTB) will be established for each employee. The first day of each month, employees will be given a "Rest room Trip Credit" (RTC) of 20. RTCs can be accumulated from month to month.
Within two weeks, the entrance to all rest rooms are being equipped with personal identification stations and computer linked voice recognition devices. Before the end of March, each employee must provide the Personnel Dept. with two copies of voice prints, one normal and one under stress. The voice print recognition will be in operation, but not restrictive, for the rest of the month. Employees more...

This guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him and shows him the doors to three rooms and says he must choose one of the rooms to spend eternity in.
So Satan opens the first door. In the room there are people standing in cow manure up to their necks. The guy says "No, please show me the next room".
Satan shows him the next room and this has people with cow manure up to their noses. And so he says no again.
Finally, Satan shows him the third and final room. This time there are people in there with cow manure up to their knees drinking cups of tea and eating cakes.
So the guy says, "I`ll choose this room". Satan says O. K. The guys is standing in there eating his cake and drinking his tea thinking, "Well, it could be worse", when the door opens. Satan pops his head around, and says "O. K. tea-break is over. Back on your heads!"

A blonde at the front desk of a hotel checks in and tells the manager she's only staying for one night. She pays the manager, gets a room key, and heads upstairs.
Later throughout that night, guests call the front desk complaining that a blonde woman had been walking into their rooms, eating their food, using their bathrooms, sleeping on their beds and watching tv. The manager immediately knows who the culprit is and calls the blonde woman who had checked in earlier.
When she comes downstairs the manager says, "
Look ma'am, the other guests don't appreciate you walking into their rooms and using their stuff. I would like to ask you to stop."
The blonde looks totally confused. "
But I don't understand. It's what I paid for isn't it?"
Now it was the manager's turn to be confused. "
Ma'am, what are you talking about?"
"
Well,"
the blonde says, "
your sign out front said 'All Rooms are 50 Dollars.' more...

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Sunday, December 13, 1992In October, the Swallows Hotel in Gateshead, England, offered 11 chronic snorers a free night's stay so they it could test how well soundproofed the rooms are. The hotel staff tape-recorded the sounds coming from the rooms and promised the loudest snorer a prize.

A very large mathematical convention was held in Las Vegas. The conventioneers filled two hotels, each with an infinite number of rooms. The hotels were across the street from each other and were owned by brothers. One evening, while everyone was out at a bar-b-que, one of the hotels burned to the ground. The brothers got together and worked out a plan. In the remaining hotel, they moved all guests to twice their room number -- room 101 moved to 202, room 1234 moved to room 2468, etc. Then all the odd number rooms were empty, and there were an infinite number of odd rooms. So the guests from the other hotel moved into them

The Pope dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter greets him and says, "Glad
to see you; we've got your place all ready." Peter then takes the
Pope down the street and shows him his new home: a small but
comfortable cottage of 5 rooms. Peter advises the Pope to settle in,
and then wander around meeting the other residents.
The Pope meets many old friends and makes several new ones over the
next few days. One of these is a former lawyer who invites the Pope
over for lunch. On arriving, the Pope is astounded to see a 45 room
mansion, with built-in sauna and weight-room, a beautiful library, and
spacious, airy rooms.
After lunch, the Pope spies St. Peter on the street and says, "Not to
complain, but I'm curious as to why I have a small cottage while the
lawyer I just met has a stupendous mansion."
St. Peter replied, "Well, you see, we have many Popes up here, but
only one lawyer."