Romans Jokes / Recent Jokes

How the Bible would have been different if written by college students:
Loaves and Fishes replaced by Pizza and Chips
Ten Commandments are actually only five, but because they are double-spaced and written in a large font, they look like ten.
Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't dorm food.
Paul's Letters to the Romans become Paul's E-Mail to the Romans.
Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates. The place where the end of the world occurs, not the Plains of Armageddon, rather Finals.
Tower of Babel blamed for Foreign Language requirement. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like a Freshman.
Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one noticed.

How the Bible would have been different if written by college students:Loaves and Fishes replaced by Pizza and ChipsTen Commandments are actually only five, but because they are double-spaced and written in a large font, they look like ten.Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't dorm food.Paul's Letters to the Romans become Paul's E-Mail to the Romans.Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates. The place where the end of the world occurs, not the Plains of Armageddon, rather Finals.Tower of Babel blamed for Foreign Language requirement. Reason why Moses and followers walked in desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like a Freshman.Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter and hoped no one noticed.

Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells
them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.
St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"
The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when
everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful..."
"Wrong!," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same
question, "What is Easter?"
The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put
up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."
St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her
she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks,
"What is Easter?"
The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I
know what Easter is."
"Oh?" says St. Peter, more...

Algebra was easy for the Romans because "X" was always 10.

This is a compilation of actual student GCSE answers.
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in
hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by
Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants
have to live elsewhere.
2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first
book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an
apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my
brother's son?"
3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients.
Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He
died before he ever reached Canada.
4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.
5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them
we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a
female moth.
6. more...

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"
3. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.
4. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.
5. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.
6. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
7. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, more...