Rich Jokes / Recent Jokes

one day there was a rich man and a poor man. the rich man walks up to the poor man and tells him "it was my wifes birthday last week" and the poor man said "what did you get her" the rich man said "i got her a diamond ring and a BMW." the poor man says " why did u get her that" and the rich man says" because if she dosent like the diamond ring she can drive it back to the store. the poor man says "it was my wifes birthday last week too" the rich man says "what did you get her" the poor man says "a pair of slippers and a dildo" the rich man says "why did you get her that" then the poor man says "because if she dosent like the slippers she can go fuck herself.

It was a sunny day in the Big Apple, but a poor black preacher was having enough troubles already. His rent was due, and his little chapel was losing so many of his fellow followers, that he was about to jump out into the street when the pastor who had been "robbing" him just happened to to turn the corner.
"What's the matter with you, my brother?"
"I'm about to lose all my friends to your church and my rent is due."
"Well, not much i can do about the rent, but I can give you a little help with the patrons of yo little chapel."
"shoot fo'."
And the rich preacher pulled out a genuine 1846 gold pocketwatch, and said proudly but softly, "whenever yo audience is about to sleep, just sway this back and forth, and they'll do whatever you want."
"can i borrow dat?"
"fo' sho'."
The next week, the rich pastor checks in with the poor pastor, but he looks even more down in the more...

Did you hear about the rich rabbit? He was a millionhare!

Michigan head coach Rich Rodriguez started crying during a press conference. In his defense, he had just been shown highlights of the Wolverine's 2008 season.

A crumbling old church building needed remodeling, so, during his sermon, the preacher made an impassioned appeal looking directly at the richest man in town.

At the end of the sermon, the rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute $1,000."

Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder.

He promptly stood back up and shouted, "Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000."

Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again, and again he this time he virtually screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge."

He sat down, and a larger chunk of plaster fell on his head.

He stood up once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give $20,000!"

This prompted a deacon to shout, "Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!"

A knockout young lady decided she wanted to get rich quick. So she proceeded to find herself a rich 73 year old man, planning to screw him to death on their wedding night. The courtship and wedding went off without any problem, in spite of the half- century age difference. On the first night of her honeymoon, she got undressed, and waited for him to come out of the bathroom to come to bed. When he emerged, however, he had nothing on except a rubber to cover his 12 inch erection, and he was carrying ear plugs and a pair of nose plugs. Fearing her plan had gone amiss, she asked, "What are those for?" The old man replied, "There are just two things I can't stand: the sound of a woman screaming... and the smell of burning rubber!"

The eye of the beholder
Mrs Stein a rich tourist goes to Paris to visit the art galleries. She decides to hire the services of a guide to show her around the Louvre.
"Oh!" said Mrs Stein looking at a painting, "That`s a Monet isn`t it?"
"No Madame, almost, it`s a Manet." replied the guide.
"And that one, it`s a Pissaro?"
"Er... no I`m sorry Madame, that`s a Monet."
"Oh, I see. Now that one I’m sure of - that`s a Picasso isn’t it?"
".... no Madame, that`s a mirror."