Renounce Jokes / Recent Jokes

Father Mulligan was ministering to a man on his death bed. "Renounce Satan," Father Mulligan yelled.
"No," the dying man said.
"You must renounce the devil and his works!" insisted Father Mulligan.
"No," the dying man said again.
"Why, in the name of all that is holy, not?" asked the Father.
"I'd like to wait and see where I'm heading before I start annoying anyone!" replied the dying man.

Father Murphy was ministering to a man on his deathbed.
"Renounce Satan!" yelled Father Sullivan.
"No!," said the dying man.
"I say, renounce the devil and his works!"
"No way!," the man repeats.
"And why, in the name of all that is holy, not?" asks Father Murphy.
"Because," said the dying man...
"I want to wait until I see where I'm heading before I start pissing anyone off!"

Father Murphy was ministering to a man on his deathbed."Renounce Satan!" yelled Father Sullivan."No!," said the dying man."I say, renounce the devil and his works!""No way!," the man repeats."And why, in the name of all that is holy, not?" asks Father Murphy."Because," said the dying man..."I want to wait until I see where I'm heading before I start pissing anyone off!"

The Usenet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:
O Oracle most Usenet, How may I become usenet, too?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle: First, go unto John, who will baptize you in the River Usenet, asking you:
"Do you believe in the Net our God?" (respond, "I do.")
"Do you believe in the World-Wide Web?"
"Do you believe that the Web became man, was contaminated, died, and was buried, and rose in Version 3.0?"
"Do you believe that the Web will come again, on the day of the Information Superhighway?"
"Do you believe in the Holy Seer, the Oracle, giver of life?"
"Do you renounce the devil, Mephistopheles, Bill Gates, and all the incarnations of Satan?"
"Do you renounce his programs and temptations?"
If you can faithfully answer yes to these questions, you will be given Usenet, the gift of the Holy Seer. Prepare yourself, for the day of the more...

Father Sullivan was ministering to a man on his deathbed.
"Renounce Satan!" yelled Father Sullivan.
"No," said the dying man.
"I say, renounce the devil and his works!"
"No," the man repeats.
"And why, in the name of all that is holy, not?" asks Father Sullivan.
"Because," said the dying man, "I want to wait until I see where I'm heading before I start annoying anybody."