Reminds Jokes / Recent Jokes
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?Room service? Send up a larger room.Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
we all know how cinderella wanted to go to the ball but her wicked stepmother
wouldnt let her and then the fairy godmother pops up and gives cinderella
some good news: the fairy godmother tells cinderella that she will provide for her
everything she needs to go to the ball but only on 2 conditions. cinderella
asks what she needs to do and fairy godmother replies, "first yo must wear a
diaphragm" cinderella's mouth drops open and says, "you must be crazy!
im on the pill and i dont need to wear a diaphragm" the fairy godmother
reminds cinderella about all the handsome princes that will be attending the ball
that night and cinderella agrees to wear a diphragm. "well what's the second condition?"
the fairy godmother replies "you must be back home at 2AM" well cinderella
explains that if she is gonna party with the princes she wants to be out all
night long. the fairy godmother tells cinderella more...
My teacher reminds me of history Shes always repeating herself!
A man finds a lamp and decides to rub the dust off. Then, you guessed it, a Genie appears. The Genie tells the man he will grant him three wishes, but everything the man gets, his mother-in-law gets twice. The man's first wish is for 10 million dollars. The Genie reminds the man that his mother-in-law will get 20 million dollars. The man says, "that's ok." The man's next wish is for a house by the sea. Once again, the Genie reminds the man that his mother-in-law will get two houses by the sea; once again, the man says, "that's okay." The man's last wish is to be beaten half to death!
A- Alcohol: The key to surviving college
B- Beer: It's whats for dinner
C- Class: What you're supposed to get up and go to after a Thursday night party
D- Dancing: A favorite pastime of almost every drunk, usually looks pathetic
E- Emergency: The keg is empty or there is no one over 21 in your drinking party
F- Fucked Up: Signified by leaning over a toilet puking your guts out
G- Games: Anything that involves cards, quarters and chugging beers
H- Hang-over: Reminds you of how great last night was and how much you drank
I- Irish: The Klan that really knows how to drink alcohol
J- Jail: Where you'll end up after trying to use a fake ID or stagger home
K- Kissing: What you'll do to anything that moves after 15 beers
L- Lord: Person you beg to get you out of every situation involving alcohol
M- Money: That which you no longer have due to too much partying
N- Not Again!: What you scream when you wake up beside someone you more...