Remembers Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Two Swedish coal miners (Sven & Olaf) were down in the mine working. The noon whistle blew for lunch and Sven pulled out a thermos of hot coffee. Olaf looks at it and says, "Say, Sven, vat you got dere?"
    Sven says, "Dis is a 2 quart termos bottle."
    Olaf says, "Ya, I have to get me one."
    That night Olaf goes home, but forgets what it is called. So the next day they are down in the mine working again and the noon whistle blows for lunch and Sven pulls out his thermos of hot coffee. Olaf looks at it and says, "Say, Sven, vat you got dere?"
    Sven says, "Dis is a 2 quart termos bottle."
    Olaf says, "Ya, I have to get me one."
    That night Olaf goes home but forgets what it is called again. Well Olaf really wants one of these things. So he decides the next day when he asks he's going to write it down so he remembers what it is.
    The next day they are down in the mine working again and the noon whistle blows more...

    (Age 22)
    1. Handsome
    2. Charming
    3. Financially successful
    4. A caring listener
    5. Witty
    6. In good shape
    7. Dresses with style
    8. Appreciates the finer things
    9. Full of thoughtful surprises
    10. An imaginative, romantic lover
    (Age 32)
    1. Nice looking - preferably with hair on his head
    2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
    3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at a restaurant
    4. Listens more then he talks
    5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times
    6. Can carry all the groceries wit hease
    7. Owns at least one tie
    8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal
    9. Remembers anniversaries
    10. Likes to be romantic at least once a week
    (Age 42)
    1. Not too ugly- Bald head OK
    2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
    3. Works steady- splurges on dinner at McDonald's on occasion
    4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking
    5. Usually remembers the punch line of more...

    A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

    (Age 22)1. Handsome2. Charming3. Financially successful4. A caring listener5. Witty6. In good shape7. Dresses with style8. Appreciates the finer things9. Full of thoughtful surprises10. An imaginative, romantic lover(Age 32)1. Nice looking - preferably with hair on his head2. Opens car doors, holds chairs3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at a restaurant4. Listens more then he talks5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times6. Can carry all the groceries wit hease7. Owns at least one tie8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal9. Remembers anniversaries10. Likes to be romantic at least once a week(Age 42)1. Not too ugly- Bald head OK2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car3. Works steady- splurges on dinner at McDonald's on occasion4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking5. Usually remembers the punch line of jokes6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture7. Usually wears shirt that covers stomach8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw top lids9. Remembers to put more...

    What I want in a man, Original List (age 22)
    1. Handsome
    2. Charming
    3. Financially successful
    4. A caring listener
    5. Witty
    6. In good shape
    7. Dresses with style
    8. Appreciates the finer things
    9. Full of thoughtful surprises
    10. An imaginative, romantic lover
    What I want in a man, Revised list (age 32)
    1. Nice looking - preferably with hair on his head
    2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
    3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at a restaurant
    4. Listens more than he talks
    5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times
    6. Can carry in all groceries with ease
    7. Owns at least one tie
    8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal
    9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
    10. Seeks romance at least once a week
    What I want in a man, Revised list (age 42)
    1. Not too ugly - bald head okay
    2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
    3. Works steady - splurges on dinner at McDonalds on occasion
    4. Nods head more...

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