Reilly Jokes / Recent Jokes

Farmer O'Reilly and Farmer Murphy met in the pub.
"What did you give your Bull when it was ill with the colic?" asked O'Reilly.
"A good dose of Phenyl" said Murphy
A week later they met in the pub again.
"What did you say you gave your Bull with the colic?" said O'Reilly
"Phenyl" said Murphy
"Well, I gave phenyl to my Bull and it died!" said O'Reilly.
"So did mine" said Murphy.

A good Irishman, John O'Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club. One evening they were hitting the Guinness Stout and having a contest as to who could make the best toast.
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, Between the legs of me loving wife!" That won him top prize for the best toast of the night.
He went home and told his wife, Mary, he won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, and what was your toast?"
John replied, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife!"
Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "Did you know that John won the prize the other night with a toast about you, Mary?"
She said, "Aye, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been there twice! Once more...

Father Donovan entered the pub and said to the first man he saw, "Do you want to go to Heaven?" "Yes, I do, Father," the man replied.
"Then," said the priest, "leave this pub immediately."
The priest then approached a second man and asked him the same question, "Do you want to go to Heaven?" "Most certainly, Father, I do," replied the man.
"Then you must leave this den of Satan at once," said the priest.
Father Donovan then walked up to O'Reilly and asked, "Do you want to go to Heaven?" "No, Father, I don't," replied O'Reilly.
Looking him straight in the eye, the priest said, "Are you telling me when you die, you do not want to go to Heaven?"
"Oh, when I die. Certainly Father. I thought you were getting a group organized to go right now," O'Reilly replied.

Fox News host Bill O'Reilly has announced that he will debate 80s sitcom puppet, Alf, on his show tonight.

Sources say that immediately after the show was taped, O'Reilly had Alf deported: "Unfortunately, it seems that Alf was unable to document his status as a legal alien."

Farmer O'Reilly and Farmer Murphy met in the pub.
"What did you give your Bull when it was ill with the colic?" asked O'Reilly.
"A good dose of Phenyl" said Murphy
A week later they met in the pub again.
"What did you say you gave your Bull with the colic?" said O'Reilly
"Phenyl" said Murphy
"Well, I gave phenyl to my Bull and it died!" said O'Reilly.
"So did mine" said Murphy.