Rarely Jokes

Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot
Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons

Good girls wax their floors
Bad girls wax their bikini line

Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies
Bad girls know they could do it better

Good girls wear white cotton panties
Bad girls don't wear any

Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls
Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls

Good girls pack their toothbrush
Bad girls pack their diaphragms

Good girls own only one credit card and rarely use it
Bad girls own only one bra and rarely use it

Good girls wear high heels to work
Bad girls wear high heels to bed

Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance
Bad girls think no place is the wrong place

Good girls prefer the missionary position
Bad girls do too, but only for more...

CHEMICAL ANALYSIS


> > Element: Woman
> > Symbol: Wo
> > Discoverer: Adam
> >
> > Quantitative analysis: Accepted at 36-28-36, though isotopes ranging
from

> > 25-10-20 through 60-55-60 have been identified.
> >
> > Occurance: Found wherever man is, but seldom in the highly reactive,
> > energetic single state. Surplus quantities in all urban areas.
> >
> > Physical properties: Undergoes spontaneous dehydrolysis (weeps) at
> > absolutely nothing and freezes at a moments notice. Totally
> > unpredicatble. Melts when properly treated, very bitter if not well
used.
> > Found in many states ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
> > Non-magnetic, but attracted coins and sports cars. In its natural
state > > the specimen varies considerably, but is often changed
artificially so > > well that the change is indiscernable except to the
experienced eye.
> >
> > more...

A fool and his money rarely get together to start with.

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple. — Oscar Wilde

Here is an actual story from someone who wishes to remain anonymous. He
wanted to go out with this girl so he made up a petition to that effect,
got it signed by 50 people, and included a copy of this:
TOP 118 REASONS WHY TAMARA SHOULD GO OUT WITH ROB
~~~
His shoelaces are hardly ever untied
Doesn't pick his nose in public
Has never put a red shirt in with the whites
Was not directly responsible for the Holocaust
When getting off an elevator at a 20+ story building, he doesn't
push all the buttons so everyone has to stop at every floor
Elvis is dead and Bob Saget is married; who's left?
Reads National Geographic, and not just for the nude pictures
of African gorillas
His cat seems to like him
Hasn't wet his bed for at least two weeks now
Has his own 'Captain Kirk' coffee mug
Always keeps his printer paper well-stocked
Doesn't turn into a werewolf during full moons
He hardly ever slurps when drinking more...