Radio Jokes / Recent Jokes
What's with the people who put carpeting on the lid of their toilet seat? What are they thinking - "Gosh, if we have a party there may not be enough standing room; I'd better carpet the toilet too."
Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes your order is not the one who brings your food anymore? What is THAT about? And which waiter are you tipping, anyway? I think next time I go to a restaurant I'll just say, "Oh, sorry, I only eat the food. The guy who pays the bill will be along shortly."
Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?
Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."
Can't we just get rid of wine lists? Do we really have to be reminded more...
(The following appeared recently in the Globe & Mail.)
Forget about Dog Bites Man. Relegate Man Bites Dog to the back pages.
Today we are dealing with Fish swallows dog, an item which reaches us by
way of Moscow.
The dog was swimming across the Pechora River to join its master
when it vanished, leaving only a ripple. The dog's master, who was fishing
at the time, hauled in his net and found it contained a giant pike. He
looked closely at its mouth and said to himself (probably) "Thereby hangs a
tail."
Yes, it was Fido (or the Russian equivalent). The dog struggled out
after the fish was cut open, and, according to Radio Moscow, hurled itself
at the pike, "barking excitedly."
It is often difficult for fishermen to tell stories about the one that
got away. In this case, Radio Moscow notwithstanding, will it be any easier
to tell about the one that didn't?
Radio network, Air America, has filed for bankruptcy. Host Al Franken will continue broadcasting because he is good enough, smart enough and dog gone it, people like him.
a blonde was listening to the radio while driving her car. after hearing the DJ say blonde joke after blonde joke, she gets pissed off and turns off the radio.
she then looks to her right and sees another blonde rowing a boat in the middle of a field. the blonde driving pulls over to the shoulder, gets out of her car and yells, "
its blondes like you that give us a bad name! if i could swim i'd go over there and kick your butt!"
If Radio Shack made toasters... The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anythingabout it. You would be able to buy all the parts to buildyour own toaster.
On a military training exercise, the British divisional command radio operators
were getting very bored one quiet night, when breaking the silence a voice asked over
the air, “Are there any friendly bears listening?”After a moment, another voice replied, “Yes, I'm a friendly bear,” and then another voice, “I'm a friendly bear too!”At this point, the Officer at Headquarters grabbed his microphone and let loose a blistering tirade at the operators for fooling around on a radio link. When he had finished, there was silence for about ten seconds. Then a small voice said, “You're not a very friendly bear, are you?”
Banta: U Cheated Me.
Shopkeeper: No, I Sold A Good Radio To U.
Banta: Radio Label Shows Made In Japan But Radio Says This Is All India Radio!