Collision Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    In The United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B19293, Judge Lance Ito, PresidingWile E. Coyote, Plaintiff-vs. - Acme Company, DefendantOpening statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district, and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result of the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability. Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, more...

    A collision at sea can ruin your entire day.

    A mysterious X-shaped pattern of space debris seen by NASA's Hubble Space Telescope was probably two asteroids that collided, scientists said Tuesday. Scientists believe the collision happened when one of the asteroids suddenly accelerated. Scientists are calling the pattern of debris the Toyota Camry.

    This is an actual radio conversation released by the Chief of NavalOperations, 10-10-95, MSG#H0000115020ecb52EMHS #1: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."#2: "Recommend that you change YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision."#1: "This is the captain of a U.S. navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."#2: "No, I say again divert YOUR course."#1: "This is the aircraft carrier Enterprise, we are a large warship of the U.S. navy. Divert your course NOW!"#2: "This is a lighthouse. Your call?"

    This is an actual radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval
    Operations, 10-10-95, MSG#H0000115020ecb52EMHS
    #1: “Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. ”
    #2: “Recommend that you change YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. ”
    #1: “This is the captain of a U. S. navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. ”
    #2: “No, I say again divert YOUR course. ”
    #1: “This is the aircraft carrier Enterprise, we are a large warship of the U. S. navy. Divert your course NOW! ”
    #2: “This is a lighthouse. Your call? ”

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