Radio Jokes / Recent Jokes

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18: 22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, Jim, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as
well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend
the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18: 22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other
specific laws and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a more...

This has got to be the all-time classic comeback. Note: This is an exact replication of National Public Radio(NPR)interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
Interviewer: ” So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base? ”
General reinwald: ‘We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting. ”
Interviewer: “Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it? ”
General reinwald: “I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range. ”
Interviewer: “Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children? ”
General reinwald: “I don’t see how, …. we will be teaching them proper rifle range discipline before they even touch a firearm. ”
Interviewer: ” But you’re equipping them to become violent killers. more...

The letter was sent to the principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly.
An old lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize, and was
writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all human kind.
Please forward it to anyone you know who might need a lift today!
"Dear Safety Harbor Middle School,
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior
Citizens Luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged.
All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to
know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old, forgotten lady.
My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but before I received
one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.
The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of
pieces. It was awful and she was in more...

Do these guys at Radio Shack ever get on your nerves, asking you
for a bunch of personal data when you're just there to buy something as
simple as a couple AA batteries? I think we should inconvenience these
people as much as they do us. A while ago I was in Enid buying a printer
cable adaptor and the guy asked me for my name.
"Ghosseindhatsghabyfaird-johnson," I replied.
(blank look of confusion)
"How do you spell that?" he asked, obviously not wanting to know.
"With a hyphen," I clarified
"Once more?" he asked
"Ghosseindhatsghabyfaird-johnson"
"Could you please spell that?" he asked, glancing at the half dozen
people waiting behind me.
"Oh... just like it sounds," I said nonchalantly.
Putting down "Johnson," he went on and asked about the address.
"Washburn, Wisconsin, 14701 N.E. Wachatanoobee Parkway, Complex 3,
Building O, Appt. more...

Strange and silly things to do while driving. We do not advise doing any of the below “things to do while driving”, as all driving should be taken seriously. The below “things to do while driving” are simply here for entertainment purposes.

Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.
Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.

At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

Two words: Chicken suit.

Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.

Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.

Laugh a lot. A whole lot.
Stop at the green lights.
Go at the red ones.

Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.

Eat food that requires more...

A worker at Radio Shack was arrested for punching a customer. Pretty shocking. You know what's even more shocking? That people still shop at Radio Shack.

How do Alaska CB radio operators say "10-4"? "5-5-2-2."