Quick Jokes / Recent Jokes

Two guys were walking in the woods one day, and they all of a sudden came across a bear. The bear noticed them, and started growling and generally getting really mean.
The bear started to chase one of the guys, who, as it turns out, was from Czechoslovakia. The bear soon caught up with him, and ate him alive. The other guy turned around and ran for his life.
A little while later, the second guy found a park ranger station and told his story. The ranger took his gun, and they both went out in search of the bear, in order to destroy it.
Soon, they came across two bears, one male, and one female. The ranger turned to the other guy and said: "Quick... tell me which bear ate your friend!" The ranger levelled his gun and got ready to shoot.
"I'm not really sure," said the other guy, "they both look similar." "QUICK! Make up your mind!" said the ranger.
"O.K.," said the other, "it was the male."
The ranger more...

Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?

A. Ground beef.

Two guys were walking in the woods one day, and they all of a sudden came across a bear. The bear noticed them, and started growling and generally getting really mean.The bear started to chase one of the guys, who, as it turns out, was from Czechoslovakia. The bear soon caught up with him, and ate him alive. The other guy turned around and ran for his life.A little while later, the second guy found a park ranger station and told his story. The ranger took his gun, and they both went out in search of the bear, in order to destroy it.Soon, they came across two bears, one male, and one female. The ranger turned to the other guy and said: "Quick... tell me which bear ate your friend!" The ranger levelled his gun and got ready to shoot."I'm not really sure," said the other guy, "they both look similar." "QUICK! Make up your mind!" said the ranger."O.K.," said the other, "it was the male."The ranger promptly aimed and shot the more...

Q. What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle?

A. Wipe him off, apologize and RUN!

Q. Why did the koala fall out of the tree?

A. Because it was dead.

A middle aged businessman goes to see his physician.
"Doctor, I've got this problem," the man says. "My secretary, she
loves to give blow jobs. Every morning when I get to work I get a
blow job. She gives me a quick one before I leave for lunch.
And before I leave work at the end of the day she really works
me over."
"So what seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked.
"Well, you see, my wife is a nymphomaniac," the man continued.
"I service her every morning when we get up. I go home for
a quick half hour every day at lunch and then we have a
marathon session each night before we go to sleep."
"I still don't know what your problem is," said the doctor.
"You see Doc, every time I masturbate I get these dizzy spells."

Q. What do you do if a bird shits on your car?

A. Don`t ask her out again.